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Sex Abuse and Addiction Among Orthodox Jews

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Jacob Daskal (NYT)
Azoi Viz’Christeltzach - Yiddeltzach. This rather famous (or perhaps infamous) phrase loosely translates as  follows: Just as things develop in Christian culture, so too will they develop in Jewish culture. Which basically means that whatever maladies exist  in the larger culture where the Jewish people live – eventually those maladies will show up among the Jewish people.

That is the phrase I thought of after reading about the plea deal entered into by Jacob Daskal the Charedi founder of Shomrim – a watch group comprised of Jewish volunteers and set up in Charedi neighborhoods in order to combat antisemitic attacks. (While Shomrim itself is controversial, getting  both high praise and strong condemnation - it is beyond the scope of this post.) From the Times of Israel:

Plea allows Jacob Daskal to avoid trial in case that alleges he groomed a 15-year-old for sex; he faces a minimum prison sentence of 14 years...

According to the original indictment against him, Daskal sexually assaulted the victim in his Brooklyn home as well as his summer home in South Fallsburg, New York in August 2017. Two months later, the victim moved to Chicago to attend a new school and live with another family. While she was there, Daskal contacted the victim — also from a Haredi community — and coerced her into video chatting naked and sending him nude photos. In November of that year, Daskal traveled to Chicago to visit the victim, bringing her to his hotel room and raping her.

Once again we have the spectacle of a high profile individual who in this case has been lauded for his contributions to the safety of religious communities - found guilty of a heinous sex crime. It never ceases to amaze me that that religious people that seem to be among the most altruistic and highly accomplished Jews among us - end up having a sort of Jekyll and Hyde personality. On the surface they are heroes and deep down they are scum. Two of the more prominent people of this type that come to mind are the late popular children's book author, Chaim Walder - and ZAKA founder, the late Yehuda Meshi-Zahav.

I recall once reading about one such individual explaining why he did so many great things for his community. He did it for purposes of deniability. So that if he was ever accused by one of his victims, no one would believe them.  

There is also the ‘power trip’ that some highly successful people get. Their great successes in life leads them to believe they are invincible. They start believing they can do anything they want and get away with it.  This is surely is what gave successful hedge fund operator, Jeffery Epstein, the confidence to sexually abuse – who knows how many young girls.  Same thing Bill Cosby. Same thing Presidents and Senators. All believing that they would never get caught. Or that people would believe their denials beause of their high profile successes or contribtuons to society. Perhaps Daskal had the same sense of invincibility because of his own high profile successes. Mirroring what happens in the secular world.

On a related note, I had the opportunity to speak to an Orthodox mental health professional whose specialty is dealing with addictions in the Orthodox wolrd.  Including sexual addictions. I was informed that whatever one sees in the general culture one will find in the religious culture in equal proportion It doesn’t matter what ‘slice’ of Judaism they are from. Clients range from the left wing of Modern Orthdoxy all the way through the most right wing Charedim. T

What this means is that - yes, Azoi Viz’Christeltzach - Yiddeltzach. Not because religious Jews intentionally mimic the general culture. The Charedi sex addicts seen by this professional are as disconnected from the general culture as one might imagine. And yet succumb to their particular temptations. In some cases - as with Daskal, that involves sexually abusing others.  

Religious teachings are almost irrelevant to the abuser. To quote Woody Allen, the heart wants what it wants. And in some cases - given the opportunity they are going to take it. The sex drive does not depend on how religious one is. Why are some peol;le inable to resist temptation to the poit of ruining other peoples lives in order to satisfy their particular lust? And why are some people able to succesfully resist temptation? 

I don't know. But it is certainly food for thought.


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