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The Sexual Revolution and its Impact on Orthodoxy

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Sex. Now there is a word that usually gets most people’s attention. It is a big subject that would require volumes to even begin to tackle. But Gil Student’s ‘Daily Reyd’  today has linked two articles on the subject that I believe should be read by everyone.

They reflect a reality that exists in the world today – even in Orthodox Jewish circles. Especially Modern Orthodox ones. The issue is what has come to be known as the sexual revolution.

The advent of an oral contraceptive  known as ‘the pill’ in the 60s - heralded in the era of sexual freedom. While illicit sexual activity has existed since the beginning of mankind, it was somewhat restrained by the fear of unwanted pregnancy - as well as a greater sense about the immorality of casual sex.  The pill more or less ended the pregnancy concern while public concern about sexual  immorality declined.  

That - in my view - was basically responsible for an explosion of sexual promiscuity of all kinds under the guise of a more innocuous term, ‘sexual freedom’. People could engage in that kind behavior without the fear of an unwanted pregnancy getting in the way. Any questions about the morality of free sex - sex without commitment - was cast aside with slogans like, ‘If it feels good, do it’. (How well I remember that mantra of my generation!) 

Added to all this is the impact of Hollywood on this phenomenon. Which contributed mightily to eliminating any guilt at all over casual sex. We are now living in a time where premarital sex is almost a given. The thinking now-a-days is: How can you know if you are sexually compatible with the person you are going to marry  if you don’t sample it before you make a commitment to marriage?!

In his First Things article, Dan Hitchens discusses what the sexual revolution has evolved into in our day. It isn’t only about the decline of morality with respect to casual sex between any two consenting adults. It is much worse. To illustrate this. Let us take one example from among many he cites: 
(T)he last decade has seen some acknowledgment that the loosening of sexual mores in the ’60s had its victims. In 2010, a horrifying Der Spiegel article urged the German left to look honestly at its past. “The members of the 1968 movement and their successors,” wrote Jan Fleischhauer and Wiebke Hollersen, “were caught up in a strange obsession about childhood sexuality.” Fashionable kindergarten networks openly discussed whether sex with children should be part of the program.
The influential magazine Kursbuch (circulation: 50,000) printed naked pictures of toddlers, whose sexual activity with adults was described. Daniel Cohn-Bendit, today a prominent E.U. politician, wrote about “five-year-old girls who had already learned to proposition me” and later remarked: “When a little five-year-old girl starts undressing, it’s great, because it’s a game. It’s an incredibly erotic game.” 
This kind of thing, says Hitchens, seems to have finally contributed to a possible turning point. 
(A)n influential essay by the philosopher Amia Srinivasan, …rebukes “sex-positive” feminism for its view of liberation. The focus on “free sexual choices,” Srinivasan writes, risks promoting racism, “transphobia,” and “every other oppressive system that makes its way into the bedroom through the seemingly innocuous mechanism of ‘personal preference.’” In liberating sex, the essay frets, we may have accidentally enslaved ourselves.  
Hitchens notes that there seems to be somewhat of a decline in sexual activity among young people today. Perhaps there is a new realization about the costs. Perhaps. But we are a long way off from returning to a time where sexual mores meant something more than they do today.

How does all of this impact on Orthodox Jews? It should not surprise anyone that no matter how sheltered we are, we are affected by the general culture in which we live. This is true across the entire Orthodox spectrum. But the segment that is most affected by it, is the one that is most exposed to it. An article by Rivka Schwartz, Associate Principal of SAR – a Modern Orthodox high School in New York - discusses this phenomenon in a New York Jewish Week article.

She admits (and laments) the fact that despite being taught  Halachos with respect to male female interactions, they are practically ignored by the students in her school: 
(T)he disconnect between halacha and the lives that they are living can be profoundly religiously alienating for some of our young adults, in a variety of ways. Some are tormented by shame and guilt because of the gulf between what their schools, summer camps or youth groups have taught them and what they are doing, a pain that they carry privately even as they go about their Orthodox lives. Others, seeking to avoid that guilt, leave Orthodox institutions or practice entirely. And broadly, young adults often feel that the religious institutions, teachers, rabbis who have guided them have nothing to say beyond “don’t” when it comes to the issue most pressing to them in their personal and religious lives. 
I don’t think it is possible to underestimate the impact of the general culture upon Modern Orthodox young people. The same culture that influences their parents. Mrs. Schwartz recommends that aside from teaching their students about Halochos (which apparently are observed mostly in the breach) the school should require a robust sex education curriculum so that they are aware of the consequences of illicit sexual activity.

Bearing all this in mind, the question arises about just how much exposure to the culture should young people be allowed. I think there has to be limits. But I don’t think there can be – nor should there be - complete separation from the culture. I am absolutely opposed to any form of isolation. I believe instead of participating in the culture in this things which are permissible - taking the good and discarding the bad. 

The job of parents and teachers (but mostly parents) is to define those parameters. Who must make clear that certain behaviors of the general culture that are seen as perfectly acceptable to that culture, are in fact prohibited by Halacha. The atmosphere of one’s home must reflect the sanctity of Halacha where disapproval of Halachicly forbidden behavior between the sexes is made absolutely clear. 

That is where modern Orthodoxy must begin if they expect their children to live an observant lifestyle as adults. If as I suspect, some modern Orthodox parents look the other way when their children violate those Halachos - Mrs. Schwartz’s fear about leaving observance altogether is a very real possible outcome. Without the standards in the home I suggest are necessary, I fear Modern Orhtodox youth are at far greater risk of going OTD than any other segment.


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