Emes Ve-Emunah

Rabba Dina Brower and Rabbi Daniel Sperber (VIN)

There’s definitely no limitation for women when it comes to Jewish studies and religious studies. This is the sentiment expressed by Rabba Dina Brower, a recent ordainee of Yeshivat Maharat - a Yeshiva on the far Left of Orthodoxy that ordains women for the rabbinate. Rabba Brower, who was raised in Chabad, made it in response to those who claim women are limited as to what they are permitted to study.

I actually agree with her about that. It is my belief that women are both capable and permitted to study any Torah subject they wish as deeply as they are individually capable of. Same as men. Rav Soloveitchik had made that clear many years ago. He said that in our day when women are getting PhDs in all manner of difficult fields, it is ludicrous to say they are incapable of studying Gemarah in depth. He put that belief into action by giving the first Gemarah Shiur to women at Stern College.

But that is where my agreement ends as does Rav Soloveitchik’s. Rabba Brower’s primary goal is about advancing the cause of feminism. Serving God may be a part of her motive. But she said nothing about that in a recent interview as reported by VIN. This founder of the United Kingdom’s branch of JOFA (Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance) made perfectly clear what her goal was:

“I wanted to be a role model to women and girls in the community, to show this is not something only possible as a man, but definitely possible as a woman and something women should aspire to,” she told the Jewish News. “Young girls should become anything they want.

In other words it’s about what women want. Not about what God wants.

I have often been accused of attributing feminist motives to women that want to become rabbis when in fact I really have no clue about what their real motives are. I don’t however think there can be any question about Rabba Brower’s motives. She proudly proclaims,

“I will describe myself as a rabbi, that’s what I’ve trained to do and that’s what I’m qualified to serve as,”

Well if this story doesn’t make absolutely clear what her motives are, I don’t know what would.

I will grant that she can contribute to our people in the variety of ways via her education. There is nothing wrong - and everything right - with wanting to do that. No fair minded person should deny any human being, man or woman, the chance to be a scholar in residence or perform some of the duties usually reserved for rabbis – such as pastoral counseling.

No one should deny her an opportunity to give a Drasha (Torah based lecture) to both men and women. That would be serving God in ways that are acceptable to many Orthodox Poskim. If she felt that this was the best way she could serve God, more power to her. It is her desire to equalize Judaism to conform to her feminist perspective that is wrong.

Some have challenged the notion that feminism is an illegitimate motive. But it is. That’s because ultimately feminism as defined today is an ideal of equality that outweighs all else. So when in conflict with a religious ideal, it must give way to the feminist ideal.

That is an obvious contradiction to the idea that what God wants is the higher value. Not feminism. While the two value systems collide religion must give way to feminism.

This is clearly anathema to Orthodox Judaism. Even someone like YCT’s recently resigned Chair of Talmud, Rabbi Ysoscher Katz -who supports ordaining women has acknowledged that simple fact. Ultimately in Judaism, feminism has its limits.

To illustrate that simple fact, women can never be counted as part of a Minyan - the minimum number where a Dvar ShebeKedusha (such as Kaddish) may be recited. 100 women and 9 men cannot suffice. Even if all all 100 woman are Maharats. If on the other hand the ten most ignorant Jews on the planet are together in a room - it is a legitimate Minyan. Fair? No. Equal? Certainly nor. Halacha? Absolutley! - even according to the most left wing interpretations of Jewish law.

I’m sorry to see this phenomenon continue - when virtually every single Orthodox institution has rejected it. Including the movement in which she was raised, Chabad. It is a shame that someone with Dina’s obvious intelligence and Jewish education has chosen to make her feminism a priority over her Judaism.

What an asset she would be if she didn’t insist on making herself a role model for her movement. She really could make a difference that the vast majority of Orthodox Jews could support. There are a lot of Jews that would benefit from her knowledge. It’s too bad that, by her choices, she will never get support form the Orthodox mainstream rabbinate. The only support she will ever get is from Left wing rabbinic outliers.

What will happen to him when he realizes his father lied?

There is little doubt about the lies being spread among our religious brethren living in extremist enclaves like Meah Shearim. Lies about the founders of the modern State of Israel and their ideological heirs that run the country today.

These lies are perpetuated from generation to generation - whose numbers keeps increasing in far greater proportion than any other segment of the Jewish people. These are a lies that can and do easily lead far too many of their youth to rebel and go OTD once they realize they have been lied to. This following is a message that every young Charedi Jew from that world should hear:

...Yanky, or Usher, or Chaim, you will grow up, im yirtzeh Hashem, and you will begin to think more independently. It might happen when you reach bar mitzvah age, or it might happen a little later. Suddenly you will see that the picture of the world you got from your father when you were nine or ten isn’t exactly true. You’ll find out that life in the Zionist state is nothing like a concentration camp. For example, maybe relatives from Eretz Yisrael will come to visit, and you’ll see that they look just fine — properly dressed, well-fed, happy, and if you ask them where their yellow stars are, they’ll laugh...

You’ll be left confused. The first seed of doubt will sprout in your heart, and it will take root. Little by little, you’ll begin to feel that your father deceived you about this critical issue. The more you mature, the more you will discover that the reality in Eretz Yisrael is quite different from what you imagined when you were a young boy who took in everything without question. You will learn that Eretz Yisrael isn’t Auschwitz, and nobody wears a yellow star… But you’ll also see that those who choose to devote themselves to Torah are able to do so without interference.

In the meantime, I pity you, and I fear for you. For once you lose your implicit trust in your father and doubt begins to gnaw at you, it won’t let go.

This is not me expressing these views. It is Mishpacha Magazine Editor in Chief, Rabbi Moshe Grylak expressing them in his weekly editorial. Rabbi Grylak is what I would call a moderate Charedi. His magazine’s negative policy with respect to publishing pictures of women notwithstanding.

I obviously agree with him. Rabbi Grylak goes on to tell us what happened to individuals like that he knows from that community:

He was a nice chassidishe fellow who worked in a print shop. I got to know him… and we became friends. We talked a lot, but I always had the feeling that the conversations were masking something else that was going on inside him.

One day, he took off the mask and revealed that he’d lost his emunah, because of the type of deception (described above). Little by little, he lost faith in everything, until he no longer believed in Torah or Hashem… The worm of doubt had gnawed clear through him, and when I went back to that print shop some months later and asked about him, they told me he had taken his own life, leaving a young widow and two small children. He couldn’t withstand the struggle that was tearing him apart.

I was involved in two similar cases as well, which baruch Hashem didn’t end in physical suicide, but rather spiritual suicide. One bochur was still single when he abandoned Torah and mitzvos; the other took his wife with him.

This dark cloud may be a blessing in disguise, depending on how this community faces the challenge. If they continue along the same path they are now, they are clearly in danger of losing many of their children both physically and spiritually.

If they can somehow be convinced by this sad phenomenon that their scorched earth policy of criticizing Israel is the main reason for it – they might modify their views. Perhaps they will take a look at the approach taken by Rabbi Menachem Bombach - a man from that community that was raised with similarly negative views. But whose views were modified by the reality he eventualy saw.

Rabbi Bombach has rejected the ‘Big Lie’ perpetuated currently among extremist Charedim. His views are now clearly more mainstream and he is transmitting them to his students - most of whom have been raised with those negative views.

On the other hand, I fear their current characterization of Zionism as Nazism is ironclad - a belief that is as inviolable to them as is the forbidden nature of Chilul Shabbos.

I fear that they might see their increasing numbers overwhelming the numbers going OTD as a price that must be paid in order to maintain the purity of their position.

If they see it as a numbers game, they very well may tolerate the increasing losses and take some sort of solace from their even greater increase in numbers via their high birthrate. As much as I wish for the former scenario, I fear the latter to be more likely. There has been too much water over the dam... too much time and effort invested in it.

If my inclinations are right, that wouldbe both callous and tragic to the families that actually experience such losses. Suffering the loss of even a single child – whether physically or spiritually is not compensated for by the fact that the rest of your children are doing just fine – no matter how many children you have.

I am, however, happy that a prominent Charedi publisher understands the reality and has made it clear to his many readers. If nothing else, it exposes the truth to a wider audience. It is an expression of Emes. And that is always a good thing.

President Rivlin celebrating the US moving its embassy to Jerusalem

I didn’t think it would affect me this way. But it did. I have just finished watching a live feed from Jerusalem where my country, the United States of America, moved its embassy officially to my country, the State of Israel. Yes. I said my country in both cases. I am extremely proud to call them both my home. And I was deeply moved by the ceremony.

I realize this event was more about symbolism than it was about substance. And even as a symbol, moving an embassy from one city to another might not seem like much of a symbol. But for me it was.

Watching all the dignitaries speak about the historic significance of Jerusalem as Israel’s capital – established by Dovid HaMelech and the reality of being rededicated as Israel’s capital 70 years ago after over 2000 years of exile was indeed a moving experience for me. That reality was finally recognized by the most powerful nation on earth by a President who - unlike his predecessors - kept his promise. A point made numerous times by many of the speakers. The references to God's hand in all of this was mentioned many times too. Proof that Israel is not the ‘Godless’ state its religious critics from the right accuse it of being.

The dignitaries present included many religious leaders, both Chritian and Jewish. They included current and former Chief Rabbis, many religious members of the Knesset, and even Charedi Knesset leaders. I noticed for example that Charedi MK (and Gerrer Chasid) Yisroel Eichler was there too.

A variety of Hashkafos were represented by the many different styles of Kipot. Together with secular leadership and opposition members of the ruling coalitions - this was a moment of real unity that in Israel is rare.

I was also happy to see them all the religious members sit quietly while a female singer, the daughter of 2 refugees from Ethiopia sang two inspiring songs. This was obviously the right thing to do despite the fact that they were forced to listen to Kol Isha by doing so.

Perhaps the most inspiring moment was when an Evangelical Pastor, John Hagee, made the closing prayer. It was a beautiful prayer that could have been recited by any Rav. Even a Charedi one. He talked about God’s hand in all of this. His protection of the Jeiwsh people, the absolute right of the Jewish people to the land promised to them by God, he spoke of the religious significance of the the temple mount where Avaraham and Yitzchok were involved in the Akedia... and when he finished, he got a standing ovation. Which if I am not mistaken included some of the Charedi Keneset members among those standing! If anyone would have ever told me that Charedi rabbis would stand up after a Christian minister said any prayer, I would have accused them of being absolutely insane. But that's what I saw.

Everyone that spoke was inspiring, including Jared Kushner, whom US Ambassador to Israel, David Friedman noted was the single biggest force behind the embassy move.

President Rivlin’s voice cracked when he spoke about the siginifcnace of this day. You could see the emotion written on his face. He made a Shechiyanu (without Shem U’malchus) after putting a Kipa on his head for the moment. Prime Mister Netanyahu made one with Shem U’Malchus without a Kipa.

I was also happy to see in attendance many American senators and congressman. As well as dignitaries representing many foreign countries.

Everyone thanked the President for this day. He deserved it. Mention was also made of the contributions Nikky Haley has made in the UN with respect to Israel. I was glad to hear her thanked.

I was one of those that originally questioned the wisdom of making such a move. Much as I thought it was the right thing to do, I feared the consequences of possible violence would outweigh any real benefit. I even wondered what tangible benefit there would be. I’m not even sure there is one.

But I now see why it was important to do. It has made clear to the world how close Israel and America are - closer than ever! Besides, doing the right thing is always important. Maintaining a lie is never the right thing. The reality is that Jerusalem is, was, and always will be Israel’s capital. The capital of all the Jewish people. It is the city that we have never forgotten. It is the city we have prayed for and continue to pray for everyday.

Jerusalem was established by Israel as its capital the moment Israel declared its independence. Like every single country in the world, Israel has the right to choose where its capital would lie. They chose the obvious… the city that was established by Dovid Hamelach as Israel’s capital. It has been considered such by us even after we were exiled. That never changed. Once we regained our land 70 years ago we reclaimed it as our capital.

It was renewed again when the rest of Jerusalem was recaptured in 1967 by Lt. General Mordechai 'Mota' Gur as he entered the old city with the cry of Har HaBayit B’Yadenu - the Temple Mount is in our hands. That moment touched every Jew in Israel. This cannot be understated. To wit:

Last week former Prime Minister, Ehud Barak was interviewed on PBS. He mentioned how moved he was when he heard those words. He made clear how far removed he was from any Jewish practises or beliefs. Raised in a secular Leftist Kibbutz he did not believe in anything except the socialism that was preached there. By his own word, he does not keep Shabbos; he does not keep Kosher; he never celebrated his Bar Mitzvah; and never put on Teffilin. Not even once.

But when he heard those words it effected him deeply. This was his ‘pintile yid’ talking to him. I believe that there is a part of every Jew that identifies with the essence of Judaism - no matter how deeply buried those feeling are , no matter how remote they are form its practises and beliefs. That feeling was awakened by him that day. But I digress.

The peace process was not forgotten at this event. Nor was the fact that under Israeli rule all religions are free to worship according to their own traditions, a situation that did not exist prior to the recapture of Jerusalem. In fact the minute they had the opportunity after Jerusalem was recaptured in 67 they passed legislation to that effect and pledged to restore all religious institutions damaged or neglected before and during the 67 war.

Juxtaposing this magnificent event is what is happening on the border between Gaza and Israel. Palestinians are trying to break through that border with violence. Leave it to the mainstream media to neglect the fact that this has nothing to do with the celebration in Jerusalem today. These protests have been going on for weeks. They are suffering greatly there. They blame Israel for that. And the mainstream media dutifully reports it that way.

But as one of the speakers (I think it was Jared) noted, these protesters are not the solution. They are the problem. That comment received a lot of applause.

If they realized that it is their Islamic fundamentalist leaders that are really to blame, they would be protesting them. Their intransigent 'Israel must be destroyed' attitude and terrorist approach trying to achieve that - is why Israel blockades them. Israels first obligation is too protect its people.

Israel is no more to blame for their misery than the United States is to blame for Iran’s misery. I suspect that they might even know that deep down. And that their goal is the same as their fundamentalist leaders to destroy the Jewish State and replace it with an Islamic one. If they were really focused on the blockade, they would be protesting Egypt. They are blockading Gaza too. To the best of my knowledge there is not a single Gaza resident doing that.

Contrast this with the Iranians. They know the truth. That has recently been made clear by the mainstream media through a reporter situated in Iran. They do not blame America as much as they do their own Fundamentalist leadership for their problems. It would be nice is the Palestinians has the same epiphany. and realized who is really to blame for their misery. Unfortunately I don’t have much hope for that kind of change.

It’s really a shame that Israel, which has given so much to the world is not shared by its neighbors. Their hatred of Israel prevents them for that. Just as it does from making peace – even as they cry about how much Israel is to blame for that.

Today’s celebration does not change any of this. Israel would like nothing better than to make peace with its Palestinian neighbors. Thankfully its is doing so from a position of strength. All Palestinians need to do is want it badly enough. But as has been abundantly clear since Oslo, peace is not their ultimate objective. Palestinian rule over all of Palestine is.

The only thing Israel can do is remain strong and hope that somehow the Arab Fundamentalism will someday be replaced by Arab pragmatism. Alas, I don’t see that happening in my lifetime. But today, for one brief moment in time, I could not be happier about what I saw happening in our holy land.

An unarmed 'peaceful' protester

Those of us that are Chicago Cubs fans have been made proud over the last couple of years. Even for those not into baseball it had been a widely known and accepted truism that the Cubs were the immutable doormat of the National League - destined to remain there forever. Those ‘lovable losers’ were a perennial joke for comedians - forever incapable of making it to the World Series.

I recall the burst of laughter by the audience when the 1989 movie ‘Back to the Future II’ predicted that the Cubs would win the World Series in 2015. That movie was off by a year. In 2016 the Cubs won the Worlds Series.

What changed? It was the new owner’s determination to build a winner. Tom Ricketts bought the Cubs in 2009 and 7 years later people stopped laughing. Ricketts had a World Series winner. 2016 was 108 years since the last time the Cubs did that.

What many people today might not know is that the Cubs were once seen as so antisemitic that no respectable Jew would be a fan. Most old time Jewish Chicagoans that are in to baseball remain loyal Chicago White Sox fans for that reason.

So as a Cub fan, I was particularly pleased to see VIN report that Tom Ricketts (the new RNC finance Chair) had flown to Israel to attend the US Embassy opening in Jerusalem yesterday. My how times have changed.

As inspired as I was yesterday by the show of support for the Jewish state by so many people from diverse backgrounds, I was nevertheless disappointed by those who saw this magnificent event as troubling instead. Many of whom were Jews – some even religious Jews.

According to VIN 4 Republican senators, 10 Republican congressmen and one Republican governor attended. But not a single Democrat. Most of whom expressed doom and gloom about it. Although at least one offered written support:

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, issued written statements of support.

“Every nation should have the right to choose its capital. I sponsored legislation to do this two decades ago, and I applaud President Trump for doing it,” the top Senate Democrat said in a rare moment of agreement with the Republican president.

What is most egregious however (and what these doomers and gloomers were reflecting) was the mainstream media focus on Palestinians that were trying to cross the border from Gaza into Israel. A prime example of this was a British rag called The Guardian:

International condemnation of Israel’s killing of 59 Palestinian protesters in Gaza escalated as thousands rallied in the coastal enclave to bury the dead from the latest round of violence.

The killings took place on Monday during demonstrations at the Gaza border fence, which coincided with a high-profile ceremony to mark the controversial transfer of the US embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem by the Trump administration that overturned decades of US foreign policy.

As senior UN rights officials condemned the killings as an “outrageous human rights violation” – adding that it appeared anyone approaching the Gaza border fence was liable to be killed by Israeli soldiers.

Not a word about context. The message is that Israeli soldiers care little about human life as they shoot to kill unarmed Palestinian whose only goal was to protest the harsh conditions imposed on them by the Israeli occupiers.

That message is a shameful and bold faced lie. I’m sure that not a single Israeli soldier at the border crossing had any intention of killing a Palestinian. They did not shoot to kill. Israeli snipers aimed for and shot them in the legs to stop them from surging across the border. That was actually reported by a mainstream media reporter yesterday stationed in Gaza who witnessed where all the wounded Palestinians were injured. That 59 died needlessly is a tragedy. There is no shame in reporting that. The shame is in how it is being characterized. And in who they blame.

Let us be clear. Israel was protecting its borders from a people who have fired thousands of rockets indiscriminately into Israeli cites near the Gaza border. A people from whose ranks many have tried mightily to infiltrate Israel - and kill as many Jews randomly as they could. Mostly through terror tunnels.

It is also the stated policy of their Hamas leadership in Gaza - and the not so secret desire of the more ‘moderate’ Palestinian Authority (whose leader, Mahmoud Abbas, is an antisemitic Holocaust denier) to take back ‘their country’ for Islam by all means necessary. Including death to some of them while trying.

Hamas surely knew that Palestinians trying to storm that border would be killed. They urged their people to close up shop and amass on the border to do exactly that – hoping for those deaths to occur so they could use them against Israel. This too is not a secret. Even some of the mainstream media reported that truth albeit buried some where deep into their report. Which consisted mostly of Jews killing poor unarmed Palestinian protesters. Some of which was blamed by reporters on the Embassy opening in Jerusalem. Which Hamas cynically knew would be reported that way.

And what was their reason for doing this? Not the poverty they suffer because of a blockade imposed by both Israel and Egypt. Both of whom did that as a means to prevent arms being smuggled into Gaza which would be used against them. No... that wasn’t it. It was not a protest about the squalor in which they live.

They wanted to return to the land their parents and grandparents abandoned during Israel’s war of independence in 1948 - which they claim as a right. That too was reported last night in a rare moment of mainstream media honesty.

One can quibble about why they left and whose fault it was. But there is no way that the exponentially greater number of descendants are going to get that land back. To do so would mean the end of Israel – and they know it. Which is of course their goal.

What about the possibility of a 2 state solution with East Jerusalem as their capital? One of the protesters was randomly interviewed about what he thought about that. He categorically rejected the idea claiming all of Jerusalem is theirs. No Palestine without all of Jerusalem.

It is pure fiction that the Israeli snipers were purposely killing unarmed Palestinians peacefully protesting at the border. There was nothing peaceful about it. They may not have brought guns. But that was only to done to paint themselves as victims. They did, however, throw Molotov cocktails at Israeli soldiers. Molotov cocktails can be deadly in frightening ways causing people to burn to death. They also brought slingshots. Flinging stones with force of a slingshot can easily kill someone hit in the head by it.

What is Israel supposed to do? Bring their own slingshots and Molotov cocktails?! Of course they are going to protect themselves and the rest of Israel in the most efficient way possible. All while respecting human life. They used teargas to try and disperse the crowds and snipers firing at the legs of the protesters trying to storm the border. Some were killed. But that is exactly what their leadership wanted so they show the world about how evil Israel is in shooting unarmed protesters. That they have staged more than one death for those purposes has been proven. It wouldn’t surprise me if they did some of that here.

This is the context missing from the mainstream media. All they see is starving Palestinians so desperate that they are willing to risk their lives to make their case to the world. And that they are being killed by Israelis who are fault for their lot in life. Which is exactly what the Hamas leadership orchestrated them to see.

So those that pity the poor souls dying for their cause, ought to save that pity for people that deserve it. Not for those who choose to be killed that way.

The truth is that most Gazans hate all for this and just want their lives to get back to their normal. They are not necessarily in lockstep with their leaders tactics even though they might agree with their goals. That was yet another moment of truth reported yesterday by the mainstream media.

The Guardian also reported the following:

The UN rights chief Zeid Ra’ad al-Hussein said: “Those responsible for outrageous human rights violations must be held to account.

I actually agree with him. My only dispute is - who it is exactly that is responsible. I don’t think there can be any doubt to anyone even slightly objective that understands context. It is Hamas, the terrorist organization that is purposely leading its people down the path of poverty, death, and destruction. They are the ones that should be held accountable. It is more than high time that the mainstream media reported it that way.

Oh - how things might have been different had Palestinian leaders taken Gaza and made their own ‘desert bloom’ - instead of doubling down on their goal of destroying Israel. They could have asked Israel to help them do that. I am 100% certain that they would have. That might have led to a 2 state solution years ago. Instead they have 59 dead Palestinians and little to show for it.

Jakob Daskal (New York Times)

We are way past ‘innocent until proven guilty’ when it comes to accusations of sexual abuse. This is not to say that this principle should not apply as a matter of law. Of course it should. But as a practical matter, false accusations are rare. Not so rare are denials by the accused and the community which has come to respect them.

This is the case with yet another Orthodox Jew so accused. The New York Times reports the following:

The influential leader of a Brooklyn safety patrol known as the shomrim had been sexually abusing a teenage girl, the police were told.

A day later, detectives arrested the man, Jacob Daskal, a leader of one faction of what has been, since the 1970s, a sort of auxiliary police force for the ultra-Orthodox Jews of Brooklyn’s Borough Park, Crown Heights, Flatbush and Williamsburg neighborhoods.

Mr. Daskal, 59, was charged with statutory rape, sexual abuse and other crimes. The authorities believe the abuse took place at Mr. Daskal’s home between August and November of last year, when the girl, who is now 16, was a year younger. But the inquiry is continuing, to determine if the alleged abuse occurred over a longer period of time or if there were additional victims.

I wish I could say I am shocked. His community was. Unfortunately I am not. I have become conditioned to almost expect this kind of thing on a regular basis. Especially now ever since Harvey Weinstein was outed as a serial rapist/abuser. Which began the #MeToo movement exposing scores of additional prominent respected figures to have been involved in a variety of sexual misconduct.

I wish I could say ‘Well… sad as this may be – at least it isn’t about us, the Torah observant community. Again - unfortunately I can’t say that either. It is as much about us as it is about ‘them’. The idea that our values are not the values of the street is irrelevant. There have been far too many ‘religious’ people who are inclined to preach that very thought – guilty of the very behavior they blame on street values.

I am not saying that the sexual mores of the general culture haven’t declined. They have in very significant ways. Our values are indeed not the values of the street. They are the values of the Torah. But these values do not always determine our behavior. Even for those that are often seen as the most exemplary of those values.

Leaders (rabbinic and lay), movers, and shakers. So many people that have made a difference in our lives – for the better have fallen. People that rose to prominence and gained our respect - becoming celebrities in a way. This seems to be the case with Daskal – just as it was for others outside of our circle.

There is no difference. The only commonality between them is that they were prominent and thus had some power. One might say that this happens even with ordinary people too. It’s just that the prominent ones are the ones that are newsworthy. While I think that’s true to a certain extent, I don’t think that is the only reason. I think it is their very celebrity that exacerbates the situation for them. It gives them the opportunities they would otherwise not have.

What is the dynamic behind all of this? Allow me to speculate.

The sex drive is a very powerful force. It needs to be fed no less than eating and sleeping. The difference being that the sex drive can be delayed or even sublimated into other activities. But to deny it is to deny the human condition. It can easily be aroused and acted upon inappropriately. Given the opportunity it takes a lot of will power to resist. Which is what we should all do when those feelings arise in inappropriate situations.

Most of us don’t experience opportunities like that. But prominent people do. Especially if their prominence is due to great accomplishment. Which means that they are looked up to by a lot of people. Requiring them to work harder to resist any temptations arising form their celebrity. Values often get put aside when the attraction is great enough and resistance is low. It is easy for most of us to say we would never be tempted, no matter the opportunity or the attraction. But for me there is little doubt that celebrity and opportunity are factors. It’s too easy for most of us to judge – having never been put into those situations.

This can result in two very different scenarios. One is becoming involved in a consensual but immoral relationship – such as cheating on a spouse. The other far more serious scenario of sexual abuse.

In these cases, the added ingredients extant are power and psychopathy. Their celebrity makes them feel entitled - compared to the rest of us. When their sex drive is aroused, they take advantage of their celebrity and opportunities that present themselves with a feeling of invincibility that their sense of power gives them .

The best example of that is Bill Cosby. He used all of the above ingredients to become a serial rapist over the many years of his career. His victims admired him and approached him. He took advantage of that. All while maintaining his image as a role model of propriety to the world. He did a lot of good. But he did a lot more bad with apparently no conscience! A true sociopath.

Daskal is no Cosby. He has no where near his prominence or celebrity But he apparently had enough within his own community to lead him in the same direction. His sex drive, and sense of power derived of his celebrity gave him a sense of invincibility, too. That no doubt enabled him to lure a defenseless 15 year old into having sex with him. All while maintaining his image as a defender of the defenseless. A sociopath just like Cosby.

Sociopaths have no conscience, but they act as though they do - fooling a lot of people because of the good they otherwise do. Only a sociopath would force themselves on others and never think about it. And then deny it when caught. Or blame the victim. This is unlike someone who is having an affair. They may be weak and morally corrupt. But they can and often do have a conscience that produces guilt.

What I have discovered is that there are enormous amount of prominent people that are closet sociopaths. People that have abused others secretly while acting as icons publicly. It is very possible that many of these sociopaths would not have done it had they not had opportunity and and sense of invincibility their celebrity gave them – feeling immune to any kind of downfall. Celebrity creates a ‘power trip’ that is ultimately an irrational way of seeing oneself. When they get caught, no one is more surprised than they are.

That is how I see it. Daskal is but the latest in a long chain of miscreants that have used their celebrity and opportunity to have their way. Sociopaths with no redeeming value – despite all the good they might otherwise do.

The question is, how many of us would have an affair - or worse - turn into a Daskal or Cosby given their circumstances? I think most of us would say, ‘Never!’ – and really mean it. But I am beginning to think that a lot more of us would fall into one of those 2 traps than we would expect. I only hope and pray that I am wrong.

by Rabbi Dr. Binyamin Zev Telsner* - Guest Contributor

Convicted sex abuser, Eliezer Berland - a Torah based career

I am pleased to present the words of Rabbi Dr. Binyamin Zev Telsner* about what might be one of the most serious issues of our time. It was sent in response to yesterday’s post about yet another prominent individual accused of sexual abuse.

Rabbi Telsner* is a well known Rav who is trained in - and deals with these issues on a regular basis. I believe his words are true and represent authentic Torah thought. His words of wisdom are in some cases unfortunately lacking even among even among those who are seen as rabbinic of lay leaders. His thoughts follow.

The Torah community is not immune to the ravages of a physical drive that is not enclosed in proper boundaries. Allow me to copy and paste a halacha of the Rambam (Isurei Biah - laws of forbidden sexual relations 22:21)

וכן ינהוג להתרחק מן השחוק ומן השכרות ומדברי עגבים שאלו גורמין גדולים והם מעלות של עריות. ולא ישב בלא אשה שמנהג זה גורם לטהרה יתירה. גדולה מכל זאת אמרו יפנה עצמו ומחשבתו לדברי תורה וירחיב דעתו בחכמה שאין מחשבת עריות מתגברת אלא בלב פנוי מן החכמה. ובחכמה הוא אומר אילת אהבים ויעלת חן דדיה ירווך בכל עת באהבתה תשגה תמיד

Free Translation (HM):

A person should distance himself from joking, drunkeness, and flirting, because they tend to lead to forbidden sexual relations.

A man should not live without a wife, for this (living with a wife) customarily leads to great spiritual purity. And greater than all this they (our sages) say - one should turn his thoughts to words of Torah, and broaden his wisdom, for the thoughts of forbidden relations grow strong solely in a heart empty of wisdom.

As (Shlomo HaMelech) in his wisdom says: "She is a beloved hind and a graceful doe - her breasts satisfy you at all times. You will always be obsessed with her love." (Mishlei 5:19)

The implication of the Rambam is that the void of Torah true Torah allows for the foothold of these boundary violations. But the sticky part of this is that there is widespread belief that those whose positions are Torah based, including askanim who are עוסק בצרכי ציבור, (active in the community) are immune, having filled themselves with חכמה.

I postulate that this assumption is untrue, and that one can be a לב פנוי מן החכמה (a heart empty of wisdom) even if one serves as a genius Rosh Yeshiva or any other position of Torah expertise. In fact, I take a further, riskier step in stating that being Torah True Torah, while is undeniably the goal, is not at a 100% correlation with academic achievement, or even the status of genius in Torah knowledge.

What's the beef, you may ask?

We are guided that our learning must be לשמה, a concept that is still elusive in its complexity, and the subject of multiple definitions. I doubt that this can be summarized well enough to fit into a box here, but we can make a few statements that at least approach the target.

Bearing vast Torah knowledge, certainly as asset, is not the ultimate goal. A computer chip can contain huge amounts of data. Shrinking Torah to the level of simple data is tantamount to kefira.

Approaching Matan Torah, as we are doing today, is not about formatting our internal drives so that Har Sinai serves a cable to download Dvar Hashem. This reductionist perspective is erroneous. Rather, Torah is a hefty portion of a life guide, with prescribed attitudes, ideas, and halachos (the Taryag mitzvos).

Whichever way one cleaves unto Torah, one is the recipient of the greatest gift in existence. For one, it is the absorption of voluminous data, the ability to integrate these huge amounts of knowledge to produce chiddushim, shiurim, etc. For another, it is the following of one's heritage by way of halacha and minhag, etc. One of these paths is not better than the other, just as an oncologist is not better than a dermatologist, just different, but practicing the same field.

There is a point of Torah dedication, in which one is fully involved, intellectually and emotionally, with the fulfillment of Ratzon Hashem (the will of God). This is 24/7, and contains no compromises. It sets limits on an individual that are as relevant and active when alone as when in presence of others. It means that all levels of morality are fully followed anytime and anywhere.

In this state, people do not engage in violations. Someone (in) this space would not entertain even a passing thought of allowing desires to execute without restraint, and kal vachomer (certainly not) violate the safety and innocence of another. One could not tempt the boundaries of a marriage, and one could not stomach the very thought of being a baal taavoh. One could not refrain from committing issurim because of fear of getting caught.

Yes, the academic achievements of being a Torah scholar can co-exist with the basest of immorality. One just needs to "hide it from the kids". But this is a fictitious life. And we all know sheker to "have no feet". It explodes somewhere.

I surmise this can explain many of the shocking revelations we have experienced over these last few decades, where persons of supposed religious accomplishment and stature were found to be responsible for some pretty awful offenses.

Torah knowledge should ideally be consistent with true spirituality. Sadly, this is not always true, and these media reports scream quite loudly when there is inconsistency. Can we make this year's Kabolas Hatorah an emotional experience, in which we rededicate ourselves to absorbing the values of Torah into our very being? I pledge to try.

*Not his real name. The writer chooses to remain anonymous for obvious reasons.

Invitation to a very special wedding

We are on the eve of a momentous occasion. The world has for weeks been counting down to this regal event. Tomorrow it will have finally arrived to the great joy of the entire world. Meghan Markle will by getting married to Prince Harry. (Not me. A different Prince Harry.)

It was the lead story this morning on the CBS Morning News and has been among the top stories every evening for weeks now - on just about every major mainstream media outlet.

I wish I could say I’m surprised that the 6^thperson in line to the throne of the British Empire gets more intention than the meeting between the the President of the United States and the Communist dictator of North Korea to discuss the denuclearization of the Korean peninsula. But that didn’t quite make it to the top. Nope – the marriage of 2 of the most insignificant people in the world did.

For me, the wedding of a British Royal who is 6^th in line to a monarchy that has no more relevance than a bucket of warm spit (to paraphrase former Vice President John Nance Garner) – is a non event. And yet the world can’t get enough of it. And the media is all too willing to accommodate them with endless talk about who will walk Ms. Markle down the aisle; or what her gown will look like; or who will or won’t be invited. What a vacuous world we live in!

Not so the Jewish people. We too have been counting down the days to our own momentous event. It is a marriage of a different sort: Kabbolas HaTorah. Tomorrow night on the sixth of Sivan we begin Shavuos, the day God gave us the Torah at Sinai. Choosing us - His people Israel - over all other nations.

We too had anticipation. We united: VaYichen Shom Yisroel Neged HaHor. And Israel encamped opposite the mountain (Sinai). Rashi adds, K’Ish Echad B’Lev Echad. We were united as a people like one man with one heart - unlike any other time in history.

The Gemarah in Zevachim (116a) tells us that at that moment the nations of the world gathered in front of Ballam and asked him a strange question. Was the world going to be destroyed again in a catastrophic flood? Ballam told them, no, this was not the case. HaShem Oz L’Amo Yitain - God was giving His people strength. They responded by saying HaShem Yevarech Es Amo BaShalom – May God bless His people with peace!

In order to understand the unique value of this kind of unity we need look no further than our own time where we often experience a different kind of unity. A type of unity that unfortunately occurred many times in Jewish history. A unity based on tragedy.

When a tragedy strikes we often unite around it as a people. Let me illustrate by excerpting from a post I wrote on June 3rd 2015:

One year ago today, I6 Sivan 5774 on the Hebrew Calendar, Eyal Yifrach, Naftali Fraenkel, and Gilad Shaar, HY’D were kidnapped and murdered by Hamas terrorists. The entirety of world Jewry had united in solidarity with the parents of those three teenagers. It didn’t matter what Hashkafa one had.

There was a feeling of pure Achdus. Unity. We were not Charedi, Modern Orthodox (MO), Dati, Religious Zionist or secular. We were not Orthodox, Conservative or Reform. We were the Jewish people - feeling the pain of our brothers and sisters in Israel. It was a moment in time of pure magic. A time where our differences were forgotten or ignored as irrelevant.

We can now understand why the nations of the world asked Ballam if a catastrophic flood was about to descend upon the world. The only unity they understood was the type where people unite under tragic conditions. So when they heard that the people of Israel were uniting as one with a single heart, they though that perhaps God had revealed that he was going to destroy the world again. Why else would they unite?

That, says Rav Meir Shapiro of Lublin, is not a true unity. It is a situational unity that quickly dissipates once the tragedy passes – it quickly becomes ‘business as usual’. Everyone returns to their own agenda.

This was Ballam’s wise message. The people of Israel were not united in tragedy. They were united because of the great gift they were about to be given. A gift to His people intending for us to be a ‘light unto the nations’ and build up the world with God’s kingdom. For one brief moment in time, the nations of the world appreciated that and blessed God’s people, Israel with peace. Because unlike the fleeting kind of unity based on tragedy the unity experienced by the people of Israel on that momentous occasion was the ultimate unity.

Good Yom Tov

*Taken in part from Torah L’Daas by Rabbi Matis Blum.

A Jewish Wedding (Jozef Israëls,1903) - Wikipedia

I had an opportunity yesterday to speak to a young Charedi couple (probably in their late 30s or early 40s. For me, that is still a young couple). The wife was educated in the Beis Yaakov system and her husband went to a Charedi Yeshiva high school. The conversation turned to Shidduchim (dating for purposes of marriage). Their daughter is in - what is called ‘the Prasha’ - a euphemism for that kind of dating.

They both expressed concern about how their daughter would be supported once her husband left Kollel. Did his ‘ Shidduch resume’ include a ‘plan’ for a livelihood in the future? And what was it?

They are concerned about a familiar response which they feel is vague and unrealistic. Something like ‘I’ll just go into business’. Unless he had relatives that promised to ‘take him in’ and train him, that kind of response shows how clueless they are to the reality of making a decent living. And yet this seems to be the general attitude among young Charedi men these days as they are prepared for and directed into a life of full time Torah study.

Supporting one’s family is virtually ignored it seems. This kind of response raises concerns like the one expressed by this couple. I assume that they are worried that their daughter was going to be misled by such promises.

I have always maintained that at least in America, young men get a basic secular studies education. And therefore they have an advantage over their Israeli counterparts that get absolutely no secular education at all. That might still be true. But it seems that the American attitude about it is not all that different than the Israeli attitude. The only difference being that in America they are ‘forced’ to take those courses – but not seen as in any way relevant to their lives now – or in the future. And if they had it in their power they would eliminate them entirely. Considering them a complete waste of time better spent in Torah study.

This is not about whether there is any intrinsic value in secular studies. It seems that they do not even see any practical value in them! It seems that they are taught to completely devalue secular studies as much as their Israel counterparts do – and may even be jealous of them since they don’t have to put up with it at all.

This not how it was in my day. We all understood that we needed to support our future families. And that the best way to achieve that was by taking our secular studies seriously and going on to college. Which would enable us to get decent jobs. Back in those days, it was common for those of us in a post high school Yeshiva program to attend college at night towards getting a degree.

A good friend of mine who is about my age and attended Yeshivas Chaim Berlin told me that 80% of the students there did that then. Another friend just a bit younger who also attended Yeshivas Chaim Berlin told me that Rav Hutner used to advise his students which courses take based on their personal strengths. But that was then. This is now.

The process of change began not long after my time in school. The value of secular studies has deteriorated immensely since then. The idea of learning full time has become the new standard to the exclusion of anything else. Including preparation to support a family someday. I have no real issue with being taught the importance of Torah study. I can even understand being influenced to continue studying Torah for a while after marriage. What I do not understand at all is the complete abandonment of any kind of preparation for a future livelihood… leaving it to fate.

Which brings me to another revealing comment made by the wife. She offhandedly told me about her own experience along these lines when she announced her engagement just over 20 years ago. One of her friends retorted along the following lines, ‘What?!’ ‘Your getting engaged to someone in medical school?!’ ‘I NEVER thought YOU would do that!’

What she of course meant is that her values had somehow been compromised. Having attended Beis Yaakov schools all of her life and a seminary of similar Hashkafa in Israel, she was surprised that she ‘settled’ for someone not learning full time.

I asked her why that was considered ‘second class’? She could only answer that they were taught to that the ideal type of man to seek as a husband was someone studying Torah full time. If they weren’t, they were considered less than ideal – and at best second tier. It seems that marrying someone like that excluded you from that lofty community. In essence putting you outside the Charedi camp to a certain extent.

It didn’t matter that her Chasan was Charedi, and Talmid Chacham. Nor did it even matter he that had actually published a Sefer. What mattered it seems was that by opting to go to med school instead of a Kollel, he was not first tier marriage material. And this was already the case over 20 years ago!

That they are concerned with this very issue now that their daughter is involved with Shiduchim is a good thing. But I wonder just how many are like that now? Has the tide turned? Do Charedi parents think along these lines? Or are most Charedi parents on on the same page as their children, hoping their children will be living a life of full time Torah study and not all that concerned with the material welfare of their future families?

Are parents these days able to do what parents of 20 years ago did? Support their children in Kollel? Or has the money run out? Are there are second mortgages still to be had - or not? Are parents still selling life insurance polices to support their children? Are parents still willing to work until the day of their death to support their children? And do they even make enough to do that - especially if they have a lot of children? And even if they do make enough, is it right for a child to even accept help under these conditions? Do young couples feel good about being supported that way? I sure wouldn’t.

Navit Tzadik (L) and Amira Ra'anan - Rabbis? (Jewish Press)

I have always supported the idea of recognizing in some official capacity great achievement in Torah study. For men there are many ways to be recognized that way. One of which is being ordained as a rabbi. But what about women?

As most people know by now, despite a few renegade institutions under the banner of ‘Open Orthodoxy’ or Liberal Orthodoxy’ the ordination of women as Orthodox rabbis is prohibited. This is the view of virtually all of Orthodoxy, from the Charedi Agudah; to the Centrist OU and RCA; to the European Rabbinate; to the Israeli Rabbinate.

While this may not seem fair to the egalitarian eye, it is nevertheless a fact. However, despite that fact a few women do get some sort of ordination every year. In some cases have been hired by OU member synagogues for rabbinic positions. That of course did not sit well with the OU leadership.

After these hires became public some OU member rabbis protested with a threat to break away from the OU if that was not corrected - by either ejecting the violators or getting them to fire those rabbis.

Ever treading a fine line - the OU came up with a compromise that forbade any Shul from hiring a female rabbi; no Shul that had a woman in that position could become a member of the OU; those OU member Shuls that had already hired women had 3 years to correct that situation by complying with guidelines delineated by OU Poskim – on pain of expulsion if at the end of that period they did were not in compliance

Happily that ‘compromise’ seemed to satisfy both sides.

The question is - what exactly does compliance mean? In order to understand that we need to know exactly what role a woman may have in an Orthodox Shul. That was described in great detail in a lengthy statement issued by OU Poskim which included an explanation of how they arrived at their conclusions.

The short version is that women may serve in a variety of capacities but not as clergy in any way. They may for example serve as teachers, scholars in residence, executive directors, programming directors, professional counselors, communal spiritual advisers and even Halachic advisors such as Yoatzot Halacha (women that can advise other women on matters of Taharas Hamishpcha).

The question remains, how can we recognize achievement in any of these areas without giving them a title implying some version of being a rabbi? I’m not sure how to answer that question. But I do think that any person, man or woman, who achieves a certain level of expertise in any field, has a right to be recognized. No different than a PhD or Masters Degree is recognition of expertise in a particular field. How to apply that to women without breaking the taboo of calling them a rabbi is beyond my pay grade.

One thing is certain. There is no Halacha stopping any Jew – man or women - from studying Torah to their hearts content and achieving a high degree of expertise in Torah knowledge. It is the title ‘rabbi’ and its implication that is the problem.

I should note that the greatest Torah scholars of our time were not necessarily ordained as rabbis. Famously, the Chafetz Chaim was recognized as a Gadol HaDor (if not THE Gadol HaDor) for his Torah scholarship long before he was ordained. Out of his great sense of humility, he did not need nor care about that title. He was ordained late in life out of necessity (for a technical reason that I no longer recall). Having the title ‘rabbi’ does not mean all that much in terms of recognizing achievement in Torah study.

Perhaps those women that want to be ordained for purposes of being recognized for their achievement can look to the Chafetz Chaim as a role model.

Most Yeshiva students on the right don’t ever bother getting it, unless they need it for a job. In fact there are plenty of ‘rabbis’ that were never ordained and yet use the title in their jobs. It may very well be the most abused title in Judaism these days.

All of which brings me to Rabbi Shlomo Riskin. The Jewish Press recently reported that he conferred titles of ‘spiritual leaders’ and’ teachers of Halacha’ upon 3 women who passed his rigorous exam. (Participating in the ceremony was Rabbi David Stav and Rabbi Kennneth Brander.) On the surface it seems like he has violated the near universal prohibition against ordaining women. And yet he denies it:

It should be noted that, despite a misleading headline in Srugim, “On the eve of the giving of the Torah, two more women were ordained as Rabbis,” the title that was awarded the three women stops short of a rabbinic ordination, recognizing them instead as spiritual leaders and teachers of halacha – after they had completed the first and unique program of training women as authorized to rule on halachic issues and to become spiritual leaders.

But after denying it he goes about explaining why today’s Semicha (ordination) is not real Semicha anyway. Real Semicha actually ended in the 4^thor 5^th century. As such he proclaims that today’s Semicha is nothing more than a degree recognizing their accomplishment. Which seems to contradict his denial. Why bother explaining that title if that is not what has been given? Furthermore, calling them Rabbaniot hardly a makes his denial persuasive.

It is also not entirely true that there is no connection to the real Semicha. That was noted by the Poskim of the OU:

Consideration of the ordination of women also raises questions regarding the nature of semikhah. While contemporary semikhah differs from classic semikhah (as described in the Talmud) in many regards, it must, nevertheless, be viewed as an extension of the original institution of semikhah (Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 242:5-6).

It appears to me that Rabbi Riskin’s intent is to have his cake and eat it too. He seems to want to comply with the prohibition against giving women Semicha and at the same time granting 3 woman a version of it. While I completely understand his motives and explanations – which I believe he bases on his sense of equity and understanding of Halacha, I have to question his execution of them. At the end of the day, his clarifications are anything but clear. And denials notwithstanding he appears to have given a form of Semicha to these women.

A Glatt vacation in Switzerland (Totally Jewish Travel)

Glatt Lemehadrin, Gormet Cuisine, Best Locations, Exceptional Excursions – Switzerland at the Villars Palace Hotel…

This is the gist of an ad I saw in Mishpacha Magazine last week. It is typical of the many ads one finds in magazines like this.

It sure is fun being rich!

That comment made to me many decades ago has stuck with me to this day. It was made by a Hispanic fellow when we both worked at my brothers’ dental laboratory. He was responding to the brand new car another employee had just bought that had all the ‘bells and whistles’ available in that day.

I always think of this comment when I see the numerous ads like the one above. It amazes me how much wealth there must be among Charedi Orthodox Jews that are targeted by these ads.

The problem is that it isn’t only the wealthy that read these magazines. They entice us all wealthy or not. Perhaps even more-so those of us that are not wealthy. Who wouldn’t want a vacation like that? The thinking among some is where there is a will there is a way. They will find the money somehow.

I can understand the need to get away from the daily grind. A luxury vacation in the Switzerland like the one advertised is a very appealing and ‘kosher’ way to do that. But how ‘kosher’ is it really? Not the food. That is surely kosher enough. But is the actual vacation kosher? Ads like this one appear in great abundance prior to Pesach. But those ads talk mostly about spas and golf courses. Not so much about the actual event Pesach celebrates.

But that isn’t even the problem I’m address here. It is the fact that people that can’t afford it are somehow enticed into doing it anyway. That may work out well for the organizers and vendors. They make a bundle. (Which they are entitled to do). And it surely works out well for the rich. But for the average individual with a large family to feed and tuition bills to pay, it may not work out so well.

This is in part what causes people to go into debt. Which is not so great for more important vendors in their lives, like the credit giving grocer, or the religious schools that their children attend. Already on scholarships, I suspect that a lot of people can’t even meet their reduced financial obligations. Because they have become victim to the Frum’ version of ‘Madison Avenue’ with ads that are clearly made to entice us all into buying what we can’t afford

Please do not misunderstand. This is not to deprive the wealthy from enjoying their wealth. I have no problem advertising to them. God bless them. But for the rest of us it creates a desire to pursue a materialism that we can’t afford. And worse - it sometimes causes the kind of debt which in some cases ends up in the inability to pay at all - those should be first in line to be paid. All because of a materialism fueled it part by those ads.

So yes, it’s fun being rich. But that should not cause us to pretend that we are - when we’re not. There is absolutely no Mitzvah to keep up with the Katzes and Cohens.

I’m not sure what to do about those ads. People can advertise a product they sell. Nothing unethical there. And magazines are entitled to sell ads to anyone they want. Nothing unethical there either. They are in the business of making money. Of which selling ads is the primary means of doing that.

In the meantime the problem is still there. It is human nature to respond to luxury ads with a desire to have what they offer. But I think its important to know what we can - and can’t afford. And not to try and figure out ways to somehow get those things anyway.

What to do about it.

In some ways the line ‘It sure is fun being rich’ speaks to that. It is the realization that indeed it is fun, but it is also true that we are not rich enough to afford it. One can dream – and hope that someday they will be able to - but to otherwise realize that we should appreciate what we do have and what we can afford. The sages say it best (Avos 4:1): Ezeh Hu Asher? HaSameach B’Chelko. Who is the rich man? The one that is happy with his portion.

Postscript
Although this post speaks about a Charedi Magazine and its target audience, it is not meant specifically as a criticism of Charedim. I just that happened to see this ad in Mishpacha. The fact is that there are no decent MO weekly magazines. I therefore comment on what I read. But the thoughts expressed here apply to people of all Hashkafos.

The Eida HaCharedis view of Charedi soldiers in the IDF

Freedom of speech is a basic tenet of a democratic society. As such hate speech should in theory be permitted, as repugnant as it may be. That was the issue the ACLU fought for in 1977 on behalf of a group of neo-Nazis. They were denied a permit by the village of Skokie, a heavily Jewish suburb of Chicago filled with Holocaust survivors. The matter was taken up by the Supreme Court and they came down on the side of Free Speech. (Survivors be damned! - Sometimes, it seems, a democratic principle does not work in just ways.)

I was reminded of this by an event that happened recently in Jerusalem. From Arutz Sheva:

Israel Police are investigating a street show organized by an anti-Zionist haredi organization earlier this month which denigrated IDF soldiers and encouraged members of the haredi community to harass religious servicemen.

On the Lag Baomer festival earlier this month, the Edah Haharedit organization – an umbrella group of anti-Zionist haredi movements – put on a show for children in the Meah Shearim neighborhood which included an actor dressed as a haredi soldier

During the show, the soldier, who told the audience he was there to protect them, was taunted, called a “hardak” (a Hebrew slang mixing the word haredi with the Hebrew word meaning germ), and later pelted with fruit.

The actors who participated in the show encouraged local children to confront religious soldiers, and denounced the “Zionist state”.

After Israeli television publicized the story, police launched an investigation into claims the performance constituted incitement against IDF soldiers, Kikar Hashabbat reported.

Well, I guess this too qualifies as free speech. The police investigating it might have a point. Did this performance did constitute yelling ‘Fire’ in a crowded theater (when there is no actual fire)? Perhaps incitement against the IDF is equivalent to that. Not really sure.

But the plain truth is that these people didn’t need any provocation. They have been doing it all along and will continue doing it. They see it as their mission. That little performance only highlights it to the world. They probably realized it would get media attention. So now it reverts to being a simple matter of free speech.

Which in a democracy ought to be permitted no matter how repugnant (ala the Supreme Court decision forcing Skokie to grant Nazis the right to march in Skokie.)

But that does not make this performance any less repugnant. What it does - is make clear that Eida HaCharedis actually approves of attacking Charedi soldiers. No longer can anyone say they don’t. And that it is just the renegade young hoodlums among them.

The truth is that it was not just young hoodlums acting in extremely inappropriate ways on a principle the community believed in. No. They are not misguided at all. The Eida not only preach that hatred, but applaud those who acted on it. They do not reject them at all. They celebrate them.

In my view the Eida has done a great service in presenting this performance to the world. We now know the truth. They are the delinquents here.

No more apologetics. No more excuses saying it isn’t the Eida but the few hoodlums in their midst. It IS the Eida!

My message to them is, ‘Thank You!’ Thank you for telling us who you really are. Thank you for telling us how much you approve and even celebrate these repugnant acts!

And they set themselves up as the most religious Jews in the world? Really?! Not in my book. Not with unholy behavior like that. Free as they may be in a democracy to express it!

Jonathan Rosenblum

Jonathan Rosenblum is a rare breed of Charedi writer. He is a highly intelligent intellectual who was educated in two top universities, the University of Chicago, and Yale Law School. And that often shows up in his writing, as it did in the latest issue of Mishpacha Magazine. Few Charedi writers can communicate their ideas with his level of erudition.

In addition to being Charedi, his politics lean conservative. That is where my own politics lean. Which makes us kindred spirits in many ways. His Charedi perspective is moderate and that too overlaps my own Centrist perspective.

In his latest piece he takes leftist political orthodoxy to task. It is an orthodoxy that is unforgiving to those that dare to express a view that veers even slightly from that Orthodoxy. It demands adherence to its version of ethics and morality. There are no ethics; and there is no morality - outside of theirs. (Which is somewhat ironic if you think about the moral relativism that is the hallmark of their worldview.)

There is no discussion. No dissent. Only a lot of people nodding in agreement with leftist dogma. They will not hear any argument - no matter how rational - that contradicts the political Orthodoxy. It is a dogma insists that a better tomorrow will only come about through actively implementing their ideals. But as Jonathan notes such idealism does not end with the utopia they envision. It usually ends with a dystopia.

And yet those that dare to veer from that orthodoxy are silenced and even ostracized. Even, as Jonathan notes, those that are card carrying leftists. When they do, they are quickly ostracized. That is what happened to Eric Weinstein - a leftist intellectual (who voted for Bernie Sanders in the Democratic primaries). He and others like him have found a space to discuss their ‘politcally incorrect’ ideas in the center-right. He has as labeled it ‘the Intellectual Dark Web’.

What this means is that values that were once considered the cornerstone of a civilized society are sneered at. Even considering it racist or sexist in some cases. Here is how Jonathan puts it:

NOWHERE IS THAT DESIRE to create a better future by wishing it into being more evident than in the left’s thinking about gender, which Eric suggests is completely detached from any empirical research about actual human beings. Another is the left’s view, often codified in governmental regulations and court decisions, that differences in outcomes — for instance, rates of school discipline among blacks and whites — can only be explained by racism and oppression.

Amy Wax, a chaired professor at the University of Pennsylvania Law School, and likely the most credentialed member of the faculty — Yale BS summa cum laude, Marshall Scholarship to Oxford; Harvard MD, Columbia JD, six years in the Solicitor General’s office — ran afoul of that orthodoxy last year, when she and Larry Alexander, a fellow law professor at another law school, wrote an op-ed arguing that all cultures are not equal and the “bourgeois values” that dominated American culture from the end of World War II through the end of the ’60s and ’70s are more likely to prepare people to be “productive citizens in a modern technological society.”

What were those values? “Get married before you have children and strive to stay married for their sake. Get the education you need for gainful employment, work hard, and avoid idleness…. Be a patriot, ready to serve the country…. Avoid coarse language in public…. Eschew substance abuse and crime.”

These are values that most Orthodox Jews subscribe to (and, I might add, by what used to be called the silent majority). And yet a value like getting married is hardly important to the politically orthodox left. That was made evident by reaction to Wax’s op-ed. It was immediately rejected by half of her colleagues who in a letter made public - urged students to monitor her classes for signs of stereotyping and bias.

Jonathan ends with an important question:

IS THERE A CAUTIONARY TALE here for our own society? I’m not sure. But it does strike me that all tightly knit communities may be vulnerable to certain forms of internal terrorism in which name-calling takes the place of argumentation and in which too many “disconfirming” viewpoints and facts are excluded from the discussion.

A society in which empirical facts are suppressed and truth is no defense is one that will necessarily have a difficult time solving its internal problems and responding to new societal needs. Having observed the havoc wrought by the cultish behavior of the left elsewhere — not the least in its contempt for religious liberty — may we be wise enough to preserve the open discussion needed to address our most pressing challenges.

I believe that he was hinting at a problem that exists across the spectrum of Orhtodoxy. There is dogma on both the right and left. Those who part with that some of that dogma even slightly are actually written out of that segment even if they identify with it generally. Someimes even ridiculed for expressing those views.

More than once I have been accused by the of being a misogynist for my views about the role women in Judaism. And I can’t even count the times I have been accused of hating Charedim because of something I questioned based on their world view.

How many times have I heard the phrase. “Nisht Fun Unzera’ - meaning not one of us. This is a comment one might hear about a fellow Orthodox Jew – no matter how observant - that might stray into their orbit but does not share their worldview or lifestyle .

As Orthodoxy continues to to grow. Is there a real danger that we could split apart as a people?

At the moment, I don’t see that being the case. As I have said many times. The vast mainstream of Orthodoxy consists of moderate Charedim and Modern Orthodox Jews of the right all living together and leading similar lifestyles. But I fear that unity might someday give way to more factionalism.

It has been my experience that growth means separation. The more we grow, the more people can be found coalescing around a narrower Hashkafa. And when a critical mass forms - there is a separation. And that separation makes us grow further apart as a people as time goes on. And that is not good for the Jewish people.

R' Kanievsky and R' Edelman speaking to a Prison official (YWN)

I’ve told this story before. But it bears repeating in light of a story at YWN. (More about that later.) About 30 years ago when my parents lived in Bnei Brak, my father Davened in the Chasidic Shtiebel of the Bilitzer Rebbe - down the street from his house. Both my father and the Rebbe were approximately the same age, of European background. Having immigrated to Israel from the US at about the same time - they struck up a friendship.

One day my father found out that one of the Bilitizer Rebbe’s Chasidim was caught selling drugs. When my father expressed his outrage, the Bilitzer rebbe said something along the lines of the following, ‘Nu, Reb Shimon, you have to understand. This fellow has a large family to feed… he has 10 children!’

My father left rather astounded by his friend’s response, went home and had a cow!

How anyone could defend a drug dealer (made worse by the fact that a religious Jew was doing it thus causing a Chilul HaShem) was beyond disturbing to my father. Instead of expressing the outrage my father felt, the Bilitzer expressed his sympathy for his drug dealing Chasid!

This seems to be a pattern in the Charedi world. It is one thing to judge people favorably. But to do so at the expense of overlooking a serious crime is disgusting! And ignoring the attendant Chilul HaShem seems to counter one of the most basic principles of the Torah. God commands us NOT to desecrate his name numerous times.

YWN reported a story about Rav Chaim Kanievsky and Rav Gershin Edelstein (whom many consider Gedolei HaDor) having been visited by a high ranking prison official. The purpose of that meeting was to make sure that Charedi prisoners be allowed to wear jackets and hats for Davening. Something these two Rabbonim were told was being denied to them.

As many people that have commented on this story have noted, this was a truly perplexing event for a variety of reasons. This is the ‘Hill they want to die on?!’ This is the issue that these great Rabbomim want to address? Allowing prisoners convicted of a variety of criminal activity to be allowed to wear a jacket and hat for davening?

This is not a Halachic requirement. But it is a very strong Charedi requirement. Some shuls will not allow you to Daven for the Amud (as a Chazan) without it! Even if you are in Avielus – the 12 month period of mourning for the death of a parent where one is should be gathering Zechusim (merit) for the deceased. Davening for the Amud is the tradotional way of doing that – for those capable of doing so. They take precedence over others. This is called being ‘a Chiuv’.

And it is what happened to famed Orthodox criminal attorney, Ben Brafman when he was in Aveilus. He told this story at the mea culpa Agudah dinner of the Spinka Rebbe who apologized after he was caught in a tax evasion - money laundering scheme. Ben needed to catch a Minyan for Mincha and when the Gabbai asked if there was a Chiuv. (someone in Aveilus or a Yahrzeit) Bne raised his hand. The Gabbai ignored him and chose another fellow (who by coincidence was a former client of his). Why? Because he wasn’t wearing a hat or a gartel!

This shows exactly where the priorities are. The lack of a hat for davening is more significant than the crime one went to jail for. It is the hat that matters most.

One might argue that these great Rabbanim could do nothing about their incarceration. That… what’s – is done. They are paying for the crime. And it all these Rabbonim wanted to do is help them out in any way that they could. Even in this small way. What’s so wrong with doing that?

But as was so eloquently noted by Rabbi Nosson Slifkin, criminal activity is plaguing Charedi Jewry. He cites many examples:

One of the most senior charedi politicians in Beit Shemesh…, was just arrested for major fraud...

(W)e have one of the worst desecrations of God's Name in the country's history, the conviction of former Chief Rabbi Yona Metzger - a man who was widely suspected of very serious wrongdoings for decades…

Earlier this month, nine charedim were arrested for a huge, sophisticated fraud involving the creation of fictitious yeshivos in order to receive various government benefits. They printed thousands of fake identity cards and even purchased buses to quickly transport hundreds of cooperative students to the Yeshiva in case of a surprise inspection. The scam had been going on for years… It was the largest fraud ever uncovered in Israel's history.

This follows a similar case in Beit Shemesh last year, where police arrested twelve charedim for creating a fictitious yeshivah with 150 students in order to receive benefits.

A few years earlier, police raided three non-profit institutions in Beit Shemesh and Beitar which were likewise running fake yeshivos to collect benefits. And when the government started to audit how many students in charedi yeshivos really exist, various yeshivos voluntarily removed a total of ten thousandfictitious students!

I am not picking on Charedim. As Rabbi Slifkin noted, we all have our share of bad apples. The problem is that these people aren’t treated like bad apples. Their misdeeds are practically ignored. That distinguished Rabbonim go out of their way to see that they are given the right to observe minute Charedi customs - sends a message that what they did was not all that bad. They can easily end up thinking that only problem was getting caught.

This matches the reaction of the above-mentioned Bilitzer Rebbe and the Gabbai that refised to give the Amud to a Chiuv. The greater concern seems to be for the welfare of the criminal than the crimes committed and the attendant Chilul HaShem.

It also seems to be of little concern - WHY these people resort to crime in the first place. I can’t speak to every single incarcerated Charedi. But it is clear that a lot of that crime was financial. In some cases it might be greed. But it is just as likely that they simply needed the money to feed their ‘10 children’ (…to put it the way the Bilitzer Rebbe did).

It’s true that a lot of progress has been made in the Charedi world in that department. Charedim now have options available that can train them for the workplace after they finish Kollel. As has been noted here many times - that is not enough. There are too many people that cannot support their families without outside help. And if they can’t get enough outside help, resorting to crime is an option for far too many of them. Which is why there are enough Charedim in the prison system for 2 distinguished elderly Rabbonim to step in and help them… even in this small way.

It’s too bad that such care is not accompanied by the kind of outrage my father had at the crimes that put them there. And the rebuke they should have gotten instead of the right to wear a black hat in prison.

Chavie Weisberger lost and regained custody of her children (NYT)

Divorce is never a good option for children. But sometimes it is the best option of many bad ones. Children of divorce are traumatized. I see it all the time. But so too are they traumatized in a dysfunctional marriage. If that marriage is maintained, the trauma on the children continues and becomes a chronically negative factor in their mental state. One that will affect them for the rest of their lives. Although some learn how to deal with it and lead perfectly normal lives, some don’t. Divorce has that effect too. But it is a better option that living in a continually dysfunctional family.

A story in the New York Times highlights this issue. Although it does not really tell us how the children in this particular divorce fare, the subtext is clear. There is not a doubt in my mind that these children are at best confused about who and what they are. And that can easily lead them to stop being observant.

Briefly this is a story about a Chasidic couple - both of whom were raised in the type of Chasidus that most mainstream Orthodox Jews might consider extreme. But that is really not the issue. They had 3 children and somewhere along the way, the mother started to come to terms with her homosexuality. Having stayed in the closet for a while, she now lives openly as a lesbian.

In the meantime she and her husband agreed to get divorced. A Get was given in a legitimate Beis Din. A Beis Din’s ruling is honored by the secular courts and is by law considered binding arbitration. (This is how Dayan once explained to me how Beis Din rulings are enforced.)

In this particular instance the mother got custody on condition she would raise the children according to the religious tenets she and her husband were raised upon. She agreed to this intending to keep her word. Still living a religious lifestyle at the time – even though she had already been dealing with her own sexuality. But then things started changing. The children eventually were allowed to do things that are expressly forbidden by the Torah, Like eating Treif.

Her ex- husband (who had remarried) took his ex-wife court and sought custody based on the fact that she violated the terms of the divorce agreement. The judge (who happens to be an observant Jew – but in my view is irrelevant) granted him custody on that basis. But she challenged the verdict on appeal, and the lower court judge’s decision was reversed:

A New York State appellate court ruled that Justice Prus had erred in making religious observance the paramount factor when deciding custody. The court also said he had violated Ms. Weisberger’s constitutional rights by requiring her to pretend to be ultra-Orthodox around her children, even though she was no longer religious, in order to spend unsupervised time with them.

That, in a nutshell is the story here. The question is, what is best for the children?

The easy answer for an Orthodox Jew might be that since their souls are at stake the father should get custody. I’m sure that is at the forefront of the custody battle from the father’s perspective (as well as the perspective of his community). But I’m not so sure forcing the children to live with their father, his new wife and 5 additional children from that wife is the better option. Nor am I sure it will be the key to their salvation as religious Jews.

In my view, before we can speak about spiritual health of children, we must first assure their mental health. In cases like this, their mental health has already been compromised. And that is sometimes accompanied with a compromised spiritual health. Ripping children way from a loving and caring mother (assuming that’s the case here) - even for spiritual reasons may have an opposite effect.

It will surely sour them on their religion when that is seen as the cause of losing a parent. Visitation rights will not help that much and may make things worse. They will be reminded each time they see their mother of the fact that they were forcibly torn away form their mother.

It doesn’t really matter if their stepmother is a wonderful woman that cares for them as much as she does her biological children. The step children will not see her in the same light they see their mother. They will see their father’s new life as separate and apart from what they saw living there with their mother as a family. Living with their mother now may not be ideal, but at least they won’t see any competition for love and attention.

What about their spiritual health? It cannot be denied that living with their mother will very likely lead the children to a non observant lifestyle. One that will be maintained long after they leave their nest. As religious Jews, shouldn’t we be more concerned with that, than anything else? By allowing the children to stay with their mother, are we contributing to their almost certain downfall?

I don’t think that is even arguable. The mother has clearly abandoned observance and has allowed her children to have a taste of that too. So that even though in this case, the children will be attending the religious schools the mother has promised to send them to, that will very likely not matter that much. A parent is a far more important role model than a school.

In that regard claims made by the religious side are correct:

“It is something that matters, be it kosher food, or the way the mother dresses,” he said. For example, he said, when “the mother has to take the child out to the bus stop in front of the house, and the whole block looks, it is something that might embarrass the kid.”

“It might look trivial for a person who doesn’t observe these things, but it’s not trivial for the friends and for the peers of the child,” he added. “You don’t want the child to be shunned in school. Children can sometimes be extremely vicious.”

I don’t see that situation as an optimal one to further the childrens’ observance. That will just give fuel to rebellion away from it.

As I started out saying, divorce is never a great option for children. It is traumatic no matter how you slice it. Observance is at risk even when both couples remain observant, let alone when one of them no longer is.

The bottom line for me, is that I am simply not sure what the right course of action is. If both parents are decent loving parents, then the choice about who gets custody needs the wisdom of Solomon. Their spiritual health is at risk either way.

As a legal matter, I agree with the lower court judge. The terms of the divorce were violated. But is granting custody to the father in the best interests of the children - spiritually or mentally? I honestly don’t know.

Rav Y. Reuven Rubin

When Chasidism was founded by the Bal Shem Tov, it was considered by many mainstream rabbinic leaders of the time to be a form heresy. No less than the pre-eminent Gadol of the last 3 centuries, the Vilna Gaon (the Gra), was absolutely convinced of it. He fought it tooth and nail until the end of his life. This is indisputable history.

Without getting into details things eventually smoothed over based on a combination of: Chasdism ridding itself of some of their more bizarre and questionable practices; a better understanding of what Chasidus was really about; and perhaps most importantly the fact that a newer, more dangerous ideology arose that need to be fought with everything we had, Reform Judaism.

Fast forward to today. Chasidism is considered as legitimate as those of the Lithuanian type Yeshiva Hashkafa whose progenitor was the Gra. (There are of course other streams in Orthodoxy such as Torah Im Derech Eretz and my own Centrist Hashkafa - but they are irrelevant to this discussion.)

Even though both believe in the meticulous observance of Halacha, there is still a major divide in their worldviews. Aside from some obvious cosmetic differences (such as the manner of dress), there are substantive differences as well.

One of which is how they view secular education. While both worlds would prefer offering only religious subjects to their students, the Yeshiva world, for the most part sees enough value in it to teach it to their students as a general policy. This is in part based on parental desire and in part on government requirements. Instead of fighting it, they take it seriously. I recall R’ Eliya Svei saying that if they were going to offer a secular studies curriculum, there was no Mitzvah to waste your time. He insisted his Yeshiva have a fine secular studies program.

Chasidim do not see enough value to offer it under any circumstances and will fight any effort to do so. Even if there are parents that would desire it for their children. This is why the current educational crisis in New York is almost exclusively about Chasidic Yeshivos.

But this battle s not limited to the United States. It is going on in the UK too. With far more serious consequences.The UK subsidizes religious schools to some degree – provided they offer a secular studies curriculum. Which brings me to a somewhat enigmatic article by Rav Y. Reuven Rubin. From Matzav:

No matter, this is an Eis Tzorah, a time of maximum challenge, larger than anything we have seen here in generations.

Please. Let’s come together and use the one true weapon that is our inheritance going back to our very roots in Avrohom Avinu, let us daven together.

One massive Yom Tefilah, in a huge venue, parents grandparents and yes most importantly children. We will hold nothing more than our tehillimlach in our hands, and turn to the One source of all hope and light.

We must do this now, whilst others who mean us harm read reports and conjur over their plans, we, children of Avrohom, Yitzchok, Yaakov must cry out to Hashem our Father that loves us. There must not be any division, all must gather together, all Torah Yiden, Chasidim, Yeshivish, Sfardisha, Baal Habatish, the titles don’t end but the one solid fact is that we are all one Klall Yisroel.

Rav Rubin never clearly identifies exactly what is bothering him... what this ‘maximum challenge’ is. He speaks only in general terms about social engineering by the government which ‘has taken a decidedly negative view of our educational system’. I can understand opposition to that. I too consider social engineering inappropriate government interference in religious matters – in a country that allows the freedom to practice religion as their citizens choose.

One can however glean from his article that what really concerns him is the desire to maintain their policy of a non existent secular curriculum. That is what got the attention of the UK’s education officials.

I recall reading an reading article not long ago where educators on the Lithuanian type Yeshivos in the UK (mostly located Golder’s Green, if I understand correctly) were not really all that concerned about this since they offered a secular studies curriculum in addition to a their religious one. But educators on the Chasidic side (located in Stamford Hill) were in crisis mode. Which is how Rav Rubin describes the situation.

He wants all Orthodox Jews of good will to ‘cry to the heavens for this ‘Eis Tzara’. I’m sorry but I can’t join him. Because in my view what he is praying for is not the right to teach Judaism without government interference. That’s just his’pitch’. He is really asking for the right to continue a policy that hurts his community - no less than the similar policy by Chasidic communities in New York are hurting theirs.

If I am going to pray for anything, it will be that the Chasidic leaders in Stamford Hill (and New York) allow some common sense into their hearts and minds. I agree that they are in crisis. But not because of what they is fighting. But because they are fighting it!

Let them allow their children to be better educated and thereby better prepared to live in the real world; better prepared to support their large families; and not rely so much on government welfare programs that are so easily abused.

Family. That is one of the most important and recognizable facets of the Jewish people. It is one reason so many Orthodox Jews marry so young. And it is why we have something many people refer to a Shidduch crisis. The idea being that not getting married is almost a fate worse than death.

While that term is usually applied to women, men feel it too. Depending on circumstances there are many instances of men who want to get married and are unsuccessful in doing so for a variety of reasons. Some legitimate and some not.

But the focus is definitely on women. It seems that they are in the majority of those who seek matrimony unsuccessfully. While I believe there are a variety of reasons for the disparity between men and women in this regard, a lot of it has to do with age. There is a false notion that the ideal age range for a woman to get married is between 18 and 23. Men can wait a lot longer and still be considered the right age.If a young woman isn’t married by age 23 she and her parents might go into crisis mode. Once she hits 30, thoughts about spinsterhood enter into their minds

That is of course patently untrue. Women can and do get married beyond age 30, even in Orthodox circles. But that doesn’t stop the fear when after a few years of dating – nothing clicks.

I must admit that when my own children were in the Parsha (a euphemism for Shiduchim - dating for marriage purposes) I too was worried. Until they were all married, my wife and I were in ‘Shidduch Hell’!

I mention all of this as a preface to an article in Arutz Sheva entitled The Shidduch Fraud by 5 Towns Jewish Times editor in chief, Larry Gordon. He tells us about his own experience. One that is surely the result of the above mentioned kind of thinking.

The short version is that he was swindled out of about $2500 by a fellow named Yechiel Pearlstein. Pearlstein used the Shidduch crisis to his advantage by promising worried parents that his particular Segula wil guarantee their child getting married in very short order. He asks for some up front money and the larger balance to be paid by a check he will cash after the Segula is performed. But he ends up cashing the check immediately. When he is caught – he claims it was cashed by mistake promising to pay it back. But never does.

He has swindled a lot of people out of money with these promises. Unfortunately swindlers abound in the world. Including in our own. Preying on desperate people is the second oldest profession. It is all too easy to fool people into paying you money for promises to help you get out of a Jam.

This was probably not the first time people worrying about their children getting married were scammed. And it probably won’t be the last.

But scams are not limited to criminals like Pearlstein. A lot of charitable organizations do it too. They may actually do what they promise to do. But I have to wonder if their claims of success are any more realistic than Pearlstein’s claims. Reading their ads, which often include testimonials - make it seem like a sure thing. I know they need the money. And I’m sure it all goes for a good cause. But that practice is deceptive and ought not be used. Preying on vulnerable people is a disgusting tactic, The ends do not justify the means.

These organizations have been rebuked in the past to no avail. I keep seeing ads like this all the time.

I’m not here to say I can do anything about it. Desperate people seek desperate measures. As long as there is a Shidduch crises, the Peralsteins of the world will continue to take advantage of it. As will these charitable organizations.

But I do have some suggestions that I know will help – even as I know they will likely fall on deaf ears as they always have in the past. But after reading this story, they are worth mentioning again.

The entire paradigm has to change. While using a Shadchan is a legitimate method of dating, it should not be limited to that. Recommendations by family members and friends are a legitimate way to date too. That does happen.

What does not happen is men and women that are serious about getting married - meeting on their own. That is so frowned upon that if tried by someone, they are considered bad marriage material.

In the modern world where men and women get together frequently, there ought to be a way for them to meet on their own in Halachicly acceptable ways. Whether at a wedding or any other Simcha where men and women are in attendance. Mixed seating ought to not be disparaged. It ought to be encouraged between young men and women of marriageable age. But men and women sitting together at a wedding dinner is so frowned upon that it is avoided like the plague. In my view that exacerbates the problem by limiting opportunity.

Another way young people can meet is through their families. Families that have high school age children ought not fear inviting families to a Shabbos meal a family whose teenagers are of the opposite sex. Once a young woman or man is in the ‘Parsha’ - socializing ought to be encouraged. Not discouraged. The way things stand now, it are so discouraged that anyone who tries is seen in a bad light!

The argument is that with a Shidduch system a lot of time is saved by the Shadchan allowing the parent's to do the ‘dating’. Meaning that they do all of the research so that by the time the couple meet, half of the dating is done. By the parents who did the research for them instead of the couple finding out piecemeal as they date. But that is a double edged sword. Sometimes good marriage prospects are written off for the silliest of reasons.

One thing is certain, the current status quo has yielded some unintended consequences. Some of which could be reversed if the paradigm changes along the lines I suggest.

That said, it is no secret that MO enclaves where dating is more casual and men and women meet more freely (like the Upper West Side of Manhattan) has becomes a nightmare for those who want to get married. But there are reasons for that not necessarily related to their more casual setting.

I have no doubt that the Shidduch crisis could be reduced if my ideas were implemented. And any collateral damage that such changes would entail must be measured against the very real damage the current situation now engenders.

Women who participated in the CCF's 'Step Up'

What if I could show that the Posek HaDor of the 20^thcentury approved of publishing pictures of women? There is of course no way to ask Rav Moshe Feinstein directly this question. He passed away at age 91 in 1986.

R’ Moshe was considered by the vast majority of the Yeshiva world to be the Posek HaDor. It was Rav Aharon Kotler that was in large part responsible for getting the wold to see him that way. Rav Ahron Kotler founded Lakewood Yeshiva (BMG) and was considered the Gadol HaDor by the entire Yeshiva world. When he spoke, people listened. Even other Gedolim.

That was made famously clear when 2 such Gedolim, Reb Shraga Feivel Mendlowitz and Rav Yitzchok Hutner wanted to open up a college as part of Yeshivas Rebbenu Chaim Berlin. They went to a lot of trouble to do that and even received accreditation from the New York Board of Regents. Rav Aharon said ‘No!’ ...and that was the end of it. This is how powerful his influence was as the undisputed Gadol HaDor of the Lithuanian type Yeshiva world.

So that when R’ Aharon Kotler told people that asked him Shailos in Halacha – to seek answers instead from R’ Moshe – R’ Moshe became the Posek HaDor. Of course it should also be mentioned that the reason R’ Aharon gave R’ Moshe that status was because of his broad and deep knowledge of Talmud and Halacha – which is very evident in his multi volume magnum opus, Igros Moshe.

But I digress. My point is to show just how important his word was with respect to Halacha and Hashkafa in the non Chasidic Yeshiva world in America.

Back to my question. What would Rav Moshe have said about publishing pictures of women? The best way to know the answer posthumously is to ask his Talmid Muvhak, Rav Shmuel Fuerst. But we don’t even have to do that. We can see what the organization he founded – and the organization he Paskins for – does. The Chicago Chesed Fund (CCF) recently circulated a brochure that features several pictures of women. Like the one in the above illustration taken from that brochure also available at their wesbsite - a must visit!

Lest anyone think that this was done without his approval, let me disabuse you of that notion. The CCF does not move an inch without asking Rabbi Fuerst first. If those pictures are in there, it means that based on what R’ Moshe’s Talmid Muvhak said, it was not only appropriate but laudable to do so.

These were pictures of women who volunteered in one of the many projects that the CCF is involved in. In this instance it was a event called ‘Step Up’. On Mother’s Day all the women who volunteered trekked up the 55 flights of the North Harbor Tower to raise funds for infertility treatment.

This is but one of many projects this fine organization is involved with. It is housed primarily in a huge warehouse – where its ‘shopping’ section includes donated shoes and clothing (either new or gently used – like new) of all type for men, women, and children.

They are neatly arranged on racks or shelves - much the same way they would be in a department store like Marshall’s or TJ Maxx. But it isn’t only clothing. It is food and furniture of all types. It is also money. If you need it, they give it to you based on your needs.

This is not only for the poor. It is also for the underpaid with large families. When shopping there, you are treated no differently than any shopper at Marshall’s would be. And yet, to avoid embarrassment, no 2 people ever shop there at the same time. Shoppers can go through the racks of clothing and shelves of food, or anything else they offer; take what they need and walk away without paying a penny! If money is an issue, once the truth of their situation is verified, they are given the funds they need. No questions asked.

One family I personally know that are homeowners but where the only income was from a father who lost his job, got all of their Pesach needs taken care of by the CCF. Which included hand Shmurah Matzah for the entire family of 12 children! And enough money to shop freely for his family’s Pesach needs. His Pesach was as elaborate as anyone else’s - thanks to the CCF’s generosity.

If a Bar Mitzvah boy needs a new suit and the family can’t afford it, they will buy it for him. I know at least one case like that where they were told of such a case and the Bar Mitzvah boy got a new suit - having had no clue where it came from. The CCF gave it to the family anonymously so that he would not feel like a charity case.

The CCF is staffed to a large extent by unpaid volunteers and a minimal paid staff. The Chicago Jewish community is well aware of what the CCF does and has been very generous in its donations, both financial and in providing products (like food, clothing, and furniture), and in the amount of time they give to it .

Except for their small overhead - their fundraising efforts go entirely to help those in need. Those availing themselves of their services are never made to feel like they are charity cases.

The CCF is also a uniting institution. Those that volunteer come from all manner of Hashkafa. From Chasidic - to Yeshivish - to Modern Orthodox. Often working together in common cause. The CCF is also uniting in the sense that they never turn down anyone in need regardless of their Hashkafa. Nobody’s Tzitzis are checked!

I have really only scratched the surface of what this fine organization does. But I wanted to publicize one of Chicago’s real treasures.

I am proud of the entire Orthodox Jewish community in Chicago for their generosity in supporting the CCF, whether it is with money, product, or time. Thank you, CCF for all the good you have done, do, and will do in the future.

Jews who said Kaddish for Palestinian killed by the IDF at Gaza protest (TOI)

The mainstream media just doesn’t get it. It’s not that they are antisemitic or anti Israel. It’s just that they don’t get it. They have a liberal approach to news reporting that refuses to see or understand the ‘why’ of a conflict. They see only the ‘what’. Which generates a sympathetic view for the underdog in almost every case.

The recent events in Gaza where Palestinians ‘protested’ on the Gaza-Israel border is a case in point. This is yet another example of how a liberal approach to world events by the mainstream media affects its reportage. In almost every report I saw on the various news media, Israeli soldiers were blamed (at least by implication) for the deaths of dozens of Palestinian protesters from Gaza. An example of this kind of bias can be seen in a May 16^th story in the Washington Post.

When the mainstream media focuses on the death, injury, and suffering inflicted on people who lead lives of hardship and deprivation... and blame it on a blockade to Gaza at the hands of an oppressive occupier using its superior military might to enforce it... then of course Israel looks like a monster.

The mainstream makes no attempt to understand the context or who is really at fault. At fault is a Palestinian leadership who uses the misery of their people as an excuse for their real purpose of destroying the Jewish State. They encouraged their people to put their young children in harm’s way in the hope they will be shot by an indiscriminate bullet or by tear gas Israelis used to disperse the crowds. So they can call Israeli soldiers baby killers.

None of this is new.

In the situation at hand, the mainstream media has reported that of the approximately 60 ‘protestors’ that were killed in Gaza a couple of weeks ago, 50 were members of Hamas. That is reported without comment. Almost as though Hamas were just a political party albeit a militant one. Implying that those killed were innocent victims.

I recall a segment on the PBS News Hour at about that time, where the host, Judy Woodruff expressed sympathy for all the protesters that died, implying that Israel could have somehow responded with less force. As though she were in a position to say that.

But one of the more outrageous expressions of sympathy for the Palestinians who were killed was when a group of Jews in London said Kaddish for them - as reported in the Times of Israel:

A few dozen young people in London recited Kaddish, the Jewish mourning prayer, for fatalities in Gaza whom a Hamas official had said mostly belonged to his organization.

The activists gathered outside Parliament Square Wednesday, reading the names of the 62 Gazan Palestinians listed by the Hamas-run health ministry in Gaza as killed in clashes Monday and Tuesday between tens of thousands of protesters and Israeli troops guarding the border with Gaza. The riots were part of a march organized by Hamas whose stated goal was to breach the border fence and cross into Israel.

One might say that any human being that is killed is tragic. That human life is sacred. And when someone dies – he should be properly mourned. But that is patently false. Some people deserve to die. Killing them is a Mitzvah.

Let us examine the case at hand. Very few of them were innocent victims. They were members of group that - given the chance would commit genocide against the Jewish people. No different than Nazi Germany. If genocide is required to gain the land of Israel and convert it to Palestine, that’s just fine with them. Because to the Islamic fundamentalists like Hamas capturing all of Palestine and making it an Islamic state is a religious imperative.

Saying Kaddish for people like this is beyond misguided. It is beyond foolish. It is almost like to saying Kaddish for the Nazis killed in the Warsaw uprising during the Holocaust. Although there are some obvious differences - the analogy fits. Which is why I sympathize with Rabbi Yitzchak Schochet. From the Jewish Chronicle:

An outspoken Orthodox Rabbi has been criticised for “dangerous and divisive” behaviour after he called those who took part in a Kaddish for Palestinians killed on the Gaza border “Kapos”.

In his weekly 'Ask the Rabbi' column, Rabbi Yitzchak Schochet, the Rabbi of Mill Hill United Synagogue, described the memorial prayer recital outside Westminster two weeks ago as “Kapo’ism" and branded the attendees "crackpots".

Rabbi Yitzchak Schochet (Jewish Chronicle)

Some Jews are upset that an Orthodox Rabbi has referred to a group of Jews in such disparaging terms. But that shoe more or less fits. I’m not sure I would call them Kapos. (I’m not even sure Kapos deserve all the vilification they get. They too were victims who in most cases suffered the same fate as their brethren. But that is another issue.)

One thing is certain. The views these Jews have have little bearing on reality. Saying Kaddish over people killed - people whose goals include annihilating the Jews of Israel is almost as bad as saying Kaddish over Nazis killed during the Warsaw Ghetto uprising.

And yet who can blame those that might sympathize with these poor misguided Jews – when all the mainstream media reports describe Israel using excessive force just to stop a ‘peaceful protest’?! Seeing people die in protest especially when some of them are children can easily evoke sympathy for the underdog. Undeserving of that sympathy though they may be. Comparing Israel’s mighty military firing at innocent civilians to Nazis firing at innocent Jews during the Holocaust is not such a stretch.

While even some of the far left has repudiated this event, it is clear as day that the reason these Jews said Kaddish is at least in part because of how the mainstream media reports this. Without context or explanation. It is comparable to seeing someone kill another human being and considering him a murderer without seeing that that man he killed was about to shoot someone.

Fortunately these misguided Jews are an insignificant cog in a very large wheel – minuscule in number. They do not represent anyone except themselves. But it can’t be denied that there are not a small number of Jews that might sympathize with a sentiment that generated their Kaddish. That fellow Jews are acting like Nazis – all because of how those ‘protests’ were reported.

If the mainstream media were to do the right thing and report the context and history - publicly recognizing the truth about Islamic fundamentalist intentions with respect to the Jewish people, that might just reduce these kinds of protests. Because once the Palestinian propaganda machine would be exposed for what it really is it might just stop people from sympathizing with them. Without the propaganda benefit, they probably wouldn’t try to have their babies killed by the IDF.

I am not going to hold my breath about them doing that, though. Unfortunately it would take a lot more effort at integrity than the mainstream media has ever shown.

The warm and loving world of Chasidim (Arutz Sheva)

It’s a glowing tribute. Arutz Sheva columnist Rochel Sylvetsky’s review of Do Not Photograph. A book by photographer Joshua Haruni that isfilled with pictures of the insular Chasdic world. (In this case, Pinsk- Karlin). It paints a warm picture of a group that very few people know much about except for the occasional negative stereotypes portrayed by the media. It’s hard not to be sympathetic to the warmth that exudes from this world: Warmth by virtue of love of family, love of Chasidus, and the love of living a pure Torah lifestyle as they understand it.

Ms. Sylvetsky - an expatriate Chasid (Chasidah?) is still observant but traded in her former Chasidic Hashkafos for a Religious Zionist one. But her own warm feelings about her former community remain. Of which she waxes almost poetically about.

I am not surprised at this reaction despite her no longer being a member of that world. It is almost the same description another expatriate Chasid, Shulem Deen had. In his book Those Who Go Do Not Return he expressed warm memories about the youth spent in Skvere. Only Shulem is no longer observant.

Satmar's anti Israel rally

Obviously the Chasidic world has a lot to offer for its members. The overall feeling is that everyone is part of one big family. A family whose lives are circumscribed by the guidence of a kindly Chasidic Rebbe relied upon in all matters; all life decisions.

You have a sense that by living this joyful lifestyle - with all activity considered Torah based and no worldly distractions - that you are truly fulfilling the will of God in the best way possible.

As much as they are entitled to feel the way they do, I have to take issue with the most recognizable and probably the largest Chasdic sect - Satmar. Most of the pictures in this book could easily have been of Satmar Chasidim with the same kind of feeling expressed. And any group that did what they did yesterday gets no sympathy from me. Form YWN:

More than 15,000 Satmar Chassidim have packed Nassau Coliseum in Long Island at a massive anti-zionist protest – just hours after hundreds of thousands marched down 5th Avenue in the annual Israeli Day Parade.

As YWN reported extensively last week, the event was orchestrated by the Satmar Rebbe of Kiryas Yoel, to strengthen their beliefs in the “Shita” of the Satmar Rov ZATZAL, in their vehement opposition to the Zionist state of Israel.

…and from that earlier YWN piece:

Last year, Satmar of Williamsburg made an event in the Barclays Center in Brooklyn which attracted more than ten thousand of their Chassidim. The event had extremist speeches addressing the crowd, some even in English – as they ranted against the Zionist State and their claims that Yeshiva Bochrim are being dragged out of Batei Midrashim and forced into the IDF; as well as their claims that Frum girls are being forced into the Military as well.

It’s sad to note that 2 non Chasidim R’ Moshe Sternbuch this year and R’ Aharon Schechter last year. - joined the fray.

It’s one thing to be opposed to the State. Even though I vehemently disagree with that position, they have a right to their view. What is not OK is holding a rally – one this year by one Satmar Rebbe (Aharon) for 15,000 people in Nassau Colisium in Long Island and one last year by his brother (Zalman) in Barclay’s Center in Brooklyn. Both for the sole purpose of publicizing their hatred of the State of Israel. Which makes it seem like the truly religious Jews of the world think along the same lines as Palestinians do. And would destroy the state were it in their power to do so. Just like Hamas (albeit without the deadly violence).

It must have been somewhat strange for Ms. Sylvetsky to heap so much praise upon her old community that had a rally so vehemently opposes her now Religious Zionist views. But I suppose nostalgia is funny that way. You remember the ‘warm fuzzies’ because that’s what they were. Warm and fuzzy. You tend to block out what you don’t like about them because you are - after all - talking about your childhood memories which had nothing to do with Zionism or politics in their daily lives.

For me, however, there is nothing warm and fuzzy about Satmar. And certainly not about the lies they perpetuate about the State of Israel. Lies that have generated all kinds of violent protests in Israel. Lies capitalized upon by Neturei Karta. For that they deserve exactly the same kind of condemnation they give to Israel. Only that condemnation would be on facts. Not lies.

There is, however, some light, however, at the end of the tunnel. From YWN:

The Satmar Rebbe of Kiryas Yoel has previously given speeches – one of which where he was vehemently opposed to the violent protests orchestrated by the Peleg Yerushalayim that have crippled life in Yerushalayim. The Rebbe stated that there is no Heter to cause disruption and inconvenience to the lives of hundreds of thousands of Yidden trying to get to and from work, as they are forced into gridlock by the protests.

The Satmar Rebbe of Kiryas Yoel has also spoken about his opposition to those who claim there is a serious draft issue, and instead has indirectly sided with the vast majority of Litvish and Sephardic Gedolim and just about every one of the Admorim who have stated the same thing, that Bochrim should go to the induction centers as they have done for many decades, and get their deferment from the Military.

I guess he has parted company with his brother in Wlliamsburg (and R’ Schechter) and taken the more moderate view. But at the same time holding a rally for 15,000 of his Chasdim for the sole purpose of bashing Israel contradicts his more conciliatory approach It only adds fuel to the fire. Which allows Neturei Karta to justify what they did in the following video.

Baker Jack Philips vs a gay couple: Charlie Craig and Dave Mullins (Fox)

Stop! - In the Name of Love was one of the many hits by a group called the Supremes back in the sixties. It is in the name of ‘love’ that 2 gay people demanded their rights in a dispute with a baker a few years ago. But the Supremes I am about to deal with are not the singing Supremes. More about that later.

Back in the late sixties, when I was an undergrad at Roosevelt University studying Psychology homosexuality was considered a mental disorder. I clearly remember that chapter in my Abnormal Psychology textbook. As I do my professor articulating it as such. There was no question about that all the way up to 1973. (Not really that long ago). That’s when the American Psychological Association de-pathologized it out of their DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual). Homosexuality was now just considered an alternative lifestyle – as legitimate as heterosexuality.

How the APA arrived at a decision normalizing behavior that what was considered a mental disorder all the way into the 70s is a question that deserves serious inquiry, but is beyond the scope of this post. I am not making any judgments about that decision. I mention it just to give some perspective about how things have so radically changed in so short a time.

In the present day homosexuals are free to be completely out of the closet. Before 1973, virtually anyone that had a same sex attraction kept it secret for obvious reasons. If they were caught in a gay act, they were pretty much ostracized by society. Today, they are considered completely normal thanks to TV shows like Will and Grace– a series that portrays its gay character the same they would any heterosexual. You wouldn’t know he was gay except for the occasional reference to it on the show. He is portrayed as a successful, upper middle class professional who is charming, very bright and very personable. An ethical, moral, and attractive person that anyone would want as a dear friend… and even as a marriage partner!

In my view it was this kind of portrayal that began with this series (and which has since been emulated many times across the entire American entertainment landscape) that changed the national perspective from one of rejection to one of near total acceptance. The majority of Americans now support gay rights as a civil right - including gay marriage which has become the law of the land. Discrimination against a gay person is considered the same as discrimination against a black person or a Jewish person.

While all of this seems like an expression of civil rights at its most pristine level, it ignores the fact that homosexual sex is a sin in all 3 of the major faiths. For Jews it is a biblical prohibition no less severe than violating Shabbos.

Just to be clear, I am not judging gay people for who they are. Whatever the cause of same sex attraction (be it nature, nurture... or both) I believe that it is extremely difficult if not impossible to change.

It should also be clear that it is not the attraction that is forbidden. It is a specific act common to homosexuals as expression of love from one man to anther (i.e. anal sex) that is forbidden. That doesn’t change just because our attitude about same sex attractions has changed.

One may ask, is it really possible (or even likely) that 2 gay men will live together as husband and husband without ever engaging in that forbidden act? Possible? Yes. Likely? Probably not.

All of the above is why I believe that we may not discriminate against them, and must treat gay people the same way we treat heterosexual people. With the dignity vested in them by God - Who created all human beings in His image.

But at the same time I am opposed to gay marriage. While supporters believe that gay marriage is just a logical extension of their civil rights, I believe that a government whose values are based on many of the principles outlined in the bible - should not be sanctioning behavior that is biblically forbidden.

The Supreme Court in a 5-4 decision disagreed with me - which as noted - makes it the law of the land. Which brings me to an issue that many people thought was resolved by a lower court decision regarding a case where gay (civil) rights were in conflict with religious rights – both of which are enshrined in the US constitution.

At issue was whether Jack Philips, a baker was required to violate his religious beliefs by baking a wedding cake for a gay couple. He refused and was taken to court by that gay couple. Long story short a Colorado court ruled in favor of the gay couple - saying that denying service to a gay couple was a violation of their civil rights. That ruling was held up on appeal. In both cases ignoring the claim by Philips that his religious rights would be violated if he was forced to do that.

Yesterday, in a 7-2 decision the Supreme Court set aside that decision ruling that Mr. Philips’ religious rights were indeed not duly considered.

The reactions to that decision have been predictable. Gay rights activists are disappointed. Religious rights activists are pleased. While the court did not rule on the overall issue of conflict between religious rights versus civil rights, at least they acknowledged that religious rights must be taken into account.

While it is true (if I understand correctly) that the court said that future cases must be judged on their own merit I am happy to see that religion hasn’t yet been thrown under the bus entirely. That the constitutional right to refuse service to anyone - if it contradicts their religious beliefs is still a factor to be considered. Until yesterday, I was beginning to believe that religious rights were going to be trampled anytime it came into conflict with any other rights.

It should not be that difficult to understand why baking a wedding cake for a gay couple might be a problem for someone that believes in the bible. Which expressly forbids gay sex. Something that will almost certainly happen in a marriage between 2 men.

That said, what is the Halacha for Jews? May we bake a cake – or in any other way facilitate a gay marriage? I have been told by a highly reliable source that a mainstream Posek permits it outright. I am not at liberty to say who my source is or who their Posek was. But it is a well known name in Charedi circles.

Even though the court decision was on this individual case, it is clearly a step in the right direction. A victory for religious rights. Especially considering that 2 of the 7 Justices who voted with the majority are Stephen Breyer and Elena Kagan - both ‘died in the wool’ ‘card carrying’ liberals! God bless the United States of America.

Feminism Can Never Trump Judaism

A legacy of Lies

A Brief but Joyous Moment in Time

The Truth about the Gaza Protest

Why Do They Do It?

Torah Based Careers and Sex Abuse

A Momentous Occasion of Pure Achdus*

Supporting a Family when Kollel Life Ends

Are They Rabbis or Not?

The Ultimate Summer Vacation

The Eida HaCharedis and the Charedi Solider

The Political Orthodoxy of the Left

These are Charedi Priorities?

The Best Interests of the Children

The Chasidic Education Crisis

Shidduch Fraud

A Charedi Treasure and Pictures of Women

Saying Kaddish for Palestinians

Warm and Fuzzy - but Hateful as Well in Satmar

The ‘Supremes’ Got it Right