Porn

Porn. So reads the title of a recent cover of Time Magazine (...which is by itself pornographic and will not be shown here). I know it shouldn’t shock me anymore. But it still does. I am shocked at how many Americans view pornography today compared to what those numbers were just about a generation ago. According to statistics quoted in the article, in 1975, Playboy Magazine at it’s peak popularity had a circulation number of 5.6 million. Today more than 100 million people visit adult sites monthly!

Although it still shocks me - this increase should not come as a surprise. Back in pre-internet days one had to seek out porn in ways that made it difficult to hide. You‘d have to go to a store and buy a magazine.  Or an adult bookstore. Or movie theater. Today, all you have to do is have a smart-phone. So that in the privacy of your own bedroom you can view porn all night long to your heart’s content – and no one will be the wiser. In an era where instant gratification is practically a religious principle, viewing porn in the privacy of your own home is simply a natural outgrowth of that.

It should therefore also not come as a surprise that there is so much animosity towards internet use by the Charedi world. It’s hard to blame them considering the ease of accessing pornography these days. The numbers of porn sites are virtually endless and are as easy to access as eating breakfast. And are treated with about the same degree of casualness.

And this causes an addiction. It doesn’t matter what one’s values are. Once you are exposed to it, values can go out the door. The sex drive is very strong and can overcome the best of us – given the opportunity.

Here are some more statistics quoted in Time that shocked me. A 2015 University of Bristol study found that 40% of British boys between the ages of 14 to 17 watch porn regularly! And a New York University study of 487 men found that nearly half of them had been exposed to porn before they turned 13! Another study showed that one particular adult video sharing site had 22.3 billion views in 2009! And of 259 million internet users, 107 million view porn on at least a monthly basis.

There is no question about the negative effect this has on one’s spirituality. Wasting seed is against Halacha. And yet no matter how religious an Orthodox Jew is, no matter what his Hashkafa - the power of the sex drive can easily override religious values.

Leaving religion outside of the picture, is there anything wrong with viewing porn? The conventional wisdom is no. The sex drive is part of the human condition and is as natural as eating and sleeping. Modern psychology has always emphasized that.  Some argue that viewing porn is a natural and safe outlet for the sex drive – without which one that might seek far less appropriate ways of self gratification. What people do in their own homes is their own business, anyway - as long as it does not affect others. Well, if you leave religion out of it - who can argue that this? It isn’t very holy? So what?!

Well, this article does a pretty good job of arguing that viewing porn is indeed harmful. Even without the religious component. Excessive viewing of porn affects the brain. In ways that are counter to one’s sexual health creating an inability of a man to have such a relationship with a woman. The jury is still out on whether this is a fact of not. But the evidence presented in this article is compelling.

Men who have had a steady diet of porn starting early in their teenage years may very well have become so used to the images they see on a screen that their expectations of the same in the real world are never lived up to. No matter how attractive a real woman might be. Furthermore as the number of times viewing porn increases the need for new and more exciting images increases. Making a live experience even more difficult.

This fact has caused a spike in women viewing porn… in an attempt to see what modern day man wants based on what they view - and perhaps imitate it. Or as one woman put it – to see how sex works! According to a study cited in the article, 16% of women aged 18 to 39 intentionally view porn in any given week. As opposed to over 40% of all men.

All of this then argues for a far better approach to internet use. One that will give us a better spiritual life and a better physical life.  The men interviewed in the Time article are all relatively young. And all agree about the devastating effects viewing porn has had on them. And they are all trying to rid themselves of that addiction. Among those that succeeded  - some have created websites to help others in their situation. And they all have millions of regular visitors  that want to ‘kick the habit’.

One may ask if the percentages quoted in this article apply to Orthodox Jews. While it is true that we are not immune, is our level of observance a factor that reduces the percentages significantly? Do our religious principle and values help us? I would  hope so. Surely forbidding the internet in certain communities reduces the numbers of possible exposure. And filters surely help in other communities. But one thing seems certain. The ban against the internet seems to be honored mostly in the breach. One never knows what is going on behind the ‘closed doors’ of a smart-phone when no one is looking. So that even if our percentages are lower than that of general society, they are probably greater than we think… affecting even the communities where an Internet ban is total. Where there is a will, there is a way.

Does that mean we should stop using the internet? Of course not. It is way too valuable a tool to ignore. Increasingly so.  By leaps and bounds as time goes on.  And for the 60% of us that do not access porn sites, it does not affect us.