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| Charedim in Bnei Brak serving cholent to protesters (Matzav) |
I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve heard excuses that either attribute bad behavior to an extremist fringe among them - or issuing some sort of convoluted explanation of why they did it thereby justifying it at some level while they tepidly condemn it. Which is rarely followed by any action. The excuse that extremists won’t listen anyway is just that – an excuse, not a reason.
That is but one reason why Charedim are seen as self centered and not caring about anyone outside of their own community. Add to that their refusal to serve their country in the army or in any capacity – and the fact that they do not see Torah study contributing to society and instead are seen as only taking form it - is it any wonder the secular Jews and even some Dati Leumi Jews hate Charedim? And by the same token that Charedim hate secular Jews?
But is that really the case? Does the hatred run deep?
I don't think so. A lot of this is due to the lack of any interaction between the two sides. Perceptions are based on secondary sources such as religious and secular media each reflecting their own biases. When there is interaction the results might be surprising. This is true one on one. But it can also be true when there is interaction between groups with opposing agendas.
That happened last week. An event that was organized by a Charedi Jew from Bnei Brak whose one on one experience motivated him to attempt the same thing in a group context. This fellow works in the secular sector. That he was Charedi was not an impediment to doing his job which he did well and for which he had earned the respect and even friendship of his fellow co-workers. He realized that secular Jews do not hate Charedim on an individual basis. They just had negative preconceived notions about them as a group. That inspired him to organize a response to an announced march by mostly secular left protesters into Bnei Brak.
Bnei Brak is the epicenter of the Charedi world. I think its safe to say that virtually the entire population is observant - the vast vast majority of which are Charedi. This is the home (both past and present) of people that are considered Gedolim by by the Charedi world and in some cases the entire Orthodox world. Just to mention a few names of both the past and present: The Chazon Ish, Rav Shach, R’ Yoesf Kahanenman, The Steipler, his son R’ Chaim Kanievsky, and R’ Aharon Leib Steinman... and currently, R’ Gershon Edelstein and R’ Nissin Karelitz. They all lived - or still live there. (And I’ve only scratched the surface). That establishes the ethos of the city.
How do they treat outsiders? I have personal experience with that. After my father retired, he and my mother made Aliyah. My parents lived in Bnei Brak in the 70s and 80s. My wife, children, and I visited them frequently and we all have fond memories of that time. You will not find a finer bunch of people anywhere. They as welcoming and gracious as I have ever experienced. It didn’t matter that I wore a Kipa Seruga. They treated me like one of their own. I often go back there on my visits to Israel and get nostalgic about the time I spent there. I considered Bnei Brak my home in Israel.
But those experiences were private. One might say that what I experienced was an exception to the popular image of Bnei Brak as a city of hateful self centered Jews who are only out to serve their own interests. Where spitting on secular Jews was a way of life.
What happened last week ought to put an end to that image. At least as far as the vast majority of the most Charedi city in Israel is concerned.
In the heat of the anti judicial reform protests, a group of secular/left wing protesters decided to confront people who they believe – given the chance- would subjugate them to the ‘draconian’ ways of the Torah. Blaming this group's religious Knesset members for a judicial reform bill whose intent was to do that – whether they like it or not.
They were going to march in and confront ‘there people’ and show them whose boss… whose country it really is – theirs! ...and not the hated unproductive and unpatriotic Charedim.
But they were in for shock. Instead of a confrontation the people of Bnei Brak disarmed these protestors by ‘killing them with kindness’. They were greeted by an unexpected welcome that included smiling faces singing and a a variety of snacks and food including Cholent. All of which was passed out to the protesters. All of the sudden there was a sense of brotherhood. There was hugging and even tears on the part of the protesters.
People that expected a bitter and violent confrontation were disappointed. That never happened. What happened instead was a very different experience and truly inspiring. If only this event can inspire others to see each other as brothers instead of bitter adversaries.
This does not mean that all the problems will go away. Nor does it mean that there aren’t still serious differences between Charedi and Secular a Jews. Those problems are real and need to be dealt with. But hopefully this event demonstrates that if the will is there - it can done in a spirit of mutual respect and even friendship.
Will the camaraderie that took place at this incident become infectious? Will it expand beyond the borders of Bnei Brak? I don’t have the answer to that. But I hope what happened there last week isn’t a wasted opportunity. Because the alternative is too awful to contemplate.