Up until that time a Gay person saw himself as abnormal. A view supported not only by the rest of society, but by the entire medical establishment. That meant that if someone wanted to act on their homosexuality they would do it on the ‘down-low’. Meaning that in most cases it was kept hidden from their peers and families. (Yes, many gay men were married) They feared the real consequences of being discovered. A fear that may have meant losing their families, being ostracized by peers and friends, losing their jobs, and even violence in some cases.
Although there were a few exceptions where gay people were open about who they were, they were for the most part seen as group of misfits to be ridiculed at best and even beaten to a pulp by anti gay vigilantes. That lead a lot of gay men to lead a double life. And it must have been extremely painful to be treated as mentally ill. Especially in an area as morally sensitive as sexuality. Depression surely ran rampant among them at the time. As I’m sure suicide did.
That whole dynamic began to change that fateful year. It was a slow process. But homosexuals began to come out of the closet. Society started becoming sympathetic and tolerant of them as human beings.
Helping this new image develop was an entertainment industry that produced a number of films (On both TV and in movies) that depicted them sympathetically. In 1998, the TV series ‘Will and Grace’ debuted. That caused a monumental shift in how the public saw gay people. The lead character was gay and depicted as bright, witty, well educated, well dressed, with a great job. You wouldn’t know he was gay unless he told you. That became the new image of a gay person. Sympathy had turned into full acceptance. That series changed the majority American view of gay people as normal in every respect other than their innate homosexuality. Deserving all the rights and privileges given to heterosexuals.
This is the brief history in the evolution of an attitude. I mention it in light of an excellent article by Rabbi Rafi Eis on Torah Thoughts. It is very long but well worth the investment in the time it will take to read it.
Rabbi Eis points out that Orthodox Jewish awareness happened a bit later than 1998, the year of ‘Will and Grace’. It was the result of a 2001 documentary:
The 2001 documentary Trembling Before G-d, changed the trajectory of Orthodox Judaism’s approach towards homosexuality. Until that point, a mainstream Orthodox view considered homosexual activity as a promiscuous lifestyle choice. The film, however, profiled several Orthodox Jews for whom homosexuality was nature.
His views closely resemble my own. Views I have stated many times. Which I will briefly describe.
The consensus among mental health experts is that whether through nature or nurture - sexual orientation cannot be changed. Attempts at changing ones sexual orientation have proven to be disaterous to the point of suicide in many cases. Claims that some homosexuals were ‘conditioned’ to become heterosexual were either premature (i.e. they reverted to their natural inclinations after a while) or the result of treating younger individuals that were confused about their sexuality - but that were actually heterosexual.
Rabbi Eis notes that since that film, most of the mainstream Orthodox rabbinate has changed from condemning homosexuals to having compassion for them - and urging the Jewish community to treat them with understanding, compassion, acceptance – and most of all the human dignity they deserve. These are exactly my views. Agudah Moetzes member, R’ Aharon Feldman expressed similar thoughts publicly back I 2012.
But as I have said numerous times there is a difference between acceptance and compassion on the one hand - and complete normalization on the other. That is what ‘Will and Grace’ did. From that point forward the vast majority of Americans saw the lifestyle of gay people to be considered as normal and that of a heterosexual lifestyle. Which of course means giving them the same marital rights.
The Supreme Court’s 2015 Obergefell decision ruled marriage to be a civil right extended to all people regardless of whether they were gay or straight. Since then gay married couples seem to have exploded in number. And quickly becoming normalized.
This is where Judaism parts company with the rest of society. Our values are informed by the Torah. Not by ‘Will and Grace’. We are commanded to be compassionate to all human beings regardless of their sexual orientation. But we cannot consider a gay lifestyle normal. Therefore we cannot consider a marriage between two gay people to be legitimate. Marriage by definition normalizes a lifestyle that is conducive to that which the Torah expressly prohibits. Where if acted upon is considered a capital offense.
Rabbi Eis goes on to explain that the primary purpose of marriage is procreation. That is the first commandment in the Torah to all of mankind. Companionship and alleviating loneliness are important facets of marriage too. Which are also mentioned by the Torah. But they are not its the primary purpose.
This doesn’t mean that if one cannot have children because of a medical condition that they can’t get married. They surely can. But that does not take way the fact that procreation is the primary purpose of marriage. This most important Mitzvah cannot be fulfilled by 2 gay people. Adoption - as laudable as it is is not procreaion. If a gay couple wants biological children, they have to ‘borrow’ a uterus or get a sperm donor outside of their relationship.
Western culture no longer considers procreation to be the primary purpose for marriage. But it should. If the world consisted of only Gay couples, it would signal the end of humanity in very short order.
I have oversimplified Rabbi Eis’s discussion of this issue. But I think i got the gist of it and I think he’s right. If one is a serious about following the directives of the Torah one cannot condone the normalization of a lifestyle that is counterproductive to the directive demanded of mankind by the Torah to be fruitful and multiply.. Not to mention the message it would send of normalizing a lifestyle conducive to one of the most serious sins in the Torah.
This should not be taken as an excuse to treat gay people with any less dignity they deserve as human beings created in the image of God. But as an observant community we must not confuse that with normalization.