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| A gay 'wedding' ceremony (Forward) |
One of the most common ways of sinning in this regard is through a sexual act the Torah informs us is a capital offense and a Toevah – an abomination (Vayikra 18:22 and 20:13). Under the right conditions a Beis Din would be required to execute the offenders. Even though those conditions are rarely (if ever) met, that the Torah tells us this makes it clear how serious a violation Torah considers it.
This is something that should not be waved off as an ancient and archaic lawwhich is not applicable in our more enlightened time. It is as much a sin today as it ever was. Even though there is nothing anyone can do to stop those so inclined from doing it.
As I have said many times experts in the field of human sexuality have determined that people with same sex attractions are incapable of changing. Whether it is nature of nurture is irrelevant.
If the sex drive - which is part of human nature - can only be satisfied in sinful ways, that is a problem for a gay man. (There may be Halachicly permissible ways to deal with that, but that is beyond the scope of this post.) One thing is clear. They cannot participate in the sexual behavior that is most associated with gay people that the Torah forbids on pain of death.
Irrespective of whether their sexual activities are sinful or not, there is another Halacha that applies in the current climate of normalizing homosexual behavior: The Torah tells us the following: Lifnei Iver Lo Sitain Michsol – Do not place an obstacle in front of a blind man. (Vayikra 19:13).
Which brings me to Shira Telushkin’s article in the Forward. She informs us that there are seriously observant gay couples that wish to get married to each other using alternative method. Which can be used in a ceremony to formalize a gay ‘marriage’ in a Halachic way. They have come up a document that on the surfaces seems to satisfy Halacha along the lines of a legally binding contract between 2 partners.
Even though a contract like this might be binding in one sense, in another sense it is highly questionable because of Lifnei Iver. In essence that is a contract to live a lifestyle that is conducive to serious violation of that prohibition.
Placing a religious imprimatur on a lifestyle like this is a non starter. I get that an observant gay couple wants to have a religious ceremony validaiting the way they live Halachicly. That is to their credit. But they need to recognize that a legal document like this counters the very notion of being observant. You cannot ‘Kasher’ things which are intrinsically not Kosher. No matter how strongly the general culture says it is ‘Kosher’..
And that is precisely where the general culture is at. If there was a motto to reflec the current spirit of the times it would be that it doesn’t matter who you love or how you love them. All forms of sex by consenting adults are morally equivalent.
There is hardly a TV drama today that does not have a gay couple in it as one of the main characters. They are always portrayed as normal and ethical - often with a higher moral code than the heterosexual characters. The message by the most influential medium in the world is that gay couples and they way they ‘love’ are to be treated exactly the same way straight couples are - as well as the way they ‘love’.
Biblical values - upon much of which this country was founded - are now more than completely ignored. The bible is deemed to be an immoral man made document whose values are sourced on the unenlightened archaic values of ancient times.
This is why gay marriage is recognized as a constitutionally protected right by the Supreme Court. The result of which is that gay married couples that have become quite mainstream. It is no small wonder therefore that observant gay Jews want the same thing. They want to be considered normal. Who doesn’t?
But that does not mean that we shouldn’t accept a gay Jew for who he is - and treat him with same the human dignity required of all mankind. Of course we should. I cannot say that enough times! If a gay Jew is committed to observance – that ought to be celebrated. We must make gay Jews feel as comfortable as we can.
If they are in a gay relationship, that should not make us disparage them. We have no way of knowing what they do in the privacy of their own homes. We therefore must be Dan L’Kaf Zechus giving them the benefit of the doubt. And even if we know they are sinning, it is still none of our business. That is God’s business.
But treating gay people with respect and human dignity is a far cry from trying to place a Halachic imprimatur on a relationship conducive to sin with a ‘marriage’ ceremony that mimics a real one - is at best not in the spirit of the Torah and probably Halachicly forbidden . If one is truly observant they should understand this no matter how they feel about it.