An Un-Orthodox Wedding

Gay couple whose 'marriage' was performed by Rabbi Avram Mlotek (JTA)

I’m sorry. But referring to Avram Mlotek as an Orthodox rabbi is as ridiculous as referring to the Pope as Jewish. I don’t know how anyone can refer to himself as Orthodox while performing a marriage a between two gay men. And yet that is exactly what Rabbi Mlotek did. 

He may be a rabbi as seen by the world. But not in any kind of Orthodox sense. Even if he has been granted Semicha by Yeshiva Chovevei Torah – a rabbinical school that is at the outer edges of Orthodoxy at best. And with ordainees like Rabbi Mlotek they may as well forfeit that title if they sanction what he did. (Not sure if they did sanction it). But it doesn’t really matter where he was ordained. Even if he was ordained in Lakewood. Once anyone does something like this, they forfeit their right to be called an Orthodox rabbi. 

I wish I could say I am surprised by this event. But I am not. Rabbi Mlotek has long been an advocate of same sex marriage and had promised to perform one some day. I don’t know if this is his first such ceremony. But it will surely not be his last. 

The truth is that I believe that Rabbi Mlotek’s intentions are admirable. But we all know where good intentions sometimes lead. He understands the pain that gay people must have being rejected by society. Even if the rejection is not as strong as it once was, it’s still there. Especially among religious people who value the words of the bible. 

Unfortunately many religious people not only reject the sin. They reject the sinner too. Often shunning them. Which in my view is a terrible sin in and of itself. Community attitudes like this can lead some gay people to serious depression and suicide. 

For quite some time now, I have been a strong advocate of accepting them for who they are – without accepting the sexual behavior most often associated it. Which is of course a capital crime according to the Torah. I am fairly convinced that most people cannot change who they are attracted to. So we have no moral choice but to empathize with them and accept them as part of our community. 

But as I have repeatedly said, this does not – cannot - mean that we should in any way celebrate a lifestyle that is conducive to that sin. And most certainly not sanction it through an act of marriage performed by an Orthodox rabbi.  It doesn't matter what form the ceremony takes. It is the height of absurdity to confer a religious imprimatur to a lifestyle that is conducive to behavior the Torah calls an abomination.

I am therefore disappointed by what Rabbi Mlotek has done despite his good intentions. As I am with my friend Rabbi Asher Lopatin. He expressed approval of gay marriage and said he would seriously consider performing one himself. Something I am absolutely certain his Rebbe (and mine), Rav Ahron Soloveichik, would not approve of. 

This event is just another in a long line of steps in the direction of creating yet another Jewish denomination. One that will surely be just as doomed to extinction as all the other Jewish denominations already are.