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| Rachel Kravetz (New York Jewish Week) |
As is common in Orthodox feminist circles these days, Ms. Kravetz laments the lack of fulfillment in her role as a woman in Judaism by being denied access to the modalities in service to God that men are privy to.
She is correct. Women are denied certain modalities that men have. It is sad that this has become the focus of the lives of so many modern Orthodox Jewish women. I realize that she is sincere in her lament. But the fact that she is a woman does not diminish her in the eyes of God despite the fact that her role in service to God is defined differently than she would wish it to be.
I have expressed these views many times. And yet, every time I see an article like this, I feel bad that as a woman she feels defined more by a lack of egalitarianism that she can never fully have.
Even if she were to succeed in the goal of coming as close to it as possible by ignoring hundreds of years of tradition, she knows that there are some things that will be denied to her. I don’t see how someone that places egalitarian values over traditional values can ever be satisfied unless she is granted the same rights as men. Which has been the solution of heterodox movements.
This kind of feminism can explain Ms. Kravetz's interpretation of the first chapter in Shmuel. Which we read on the first day of Rosh Hashnaah. She sees the events described therein occurring in a male dominated society. Where women are so secondary that even a chapter about a woman begins first with a description of her husband - a man.
How sad that a woman scripture treats as heroic – and responsible for our universal custom of praying the Amidah silently - is cast as a victim of sexism. What else does she see in this chapter? Here in part is her negative spin:
We meet Hannah well past the initial realization that she is infertile, but you can imagine the many years of trying, each time hoping and being disappointed. Elkanah, who loves her dearly, wouldn’t want to accept the reality that she could not bear children…
Hannah is repeatedly described as being angry and bitter, even praying to G-d with “marat nefesh,” a bitter heart…
She is literally “pouring out her soul” to G-d, much like pouring the blood of a sacrifice unto the altar. She offers up her unborn child in service to G-d, like Avraham in the story of Akeidat Yitzchak. What happens when she is at her lowest and finally trying to reconnect with G-d? She is shamed, her motives interrogated, and her character is called into question.
The shaming was done by the Eli, the Kohen Gadol at that time. He was an unworthy Kohen Gadol and therefore unable to read the Urim v’Tumim message about Channa, mistaking her for a drunk rather than a sincere seeker of God’s help in her infertility issues.
Instead of explaining it that way, Ms. Kravtez leaves an impression of a sexist world – implying Jewish women have always been subject to sexist attitudes going all the way back to biblical days. The ultimate Bracha given to her by Eli - promising that her prayers would be answered was not enough. Making matters worse,she compares Channa’s prayerful lament to God - to the goals of today’s Orthodox Jewish Feminists:
Like the hardening of Pharaoh’s heart, so too the souls of Orthodox women have been calcified. After generations of being told that our participation in communal prayer is superfluous, having always been the default parent to stay home with young children, we feel we have no place in too many synagogues. These last six months have given men a glimpse of the female experience. They have wrapped tefillin at home and read the parsha under their breath, had their ritual practice stifled. And they have hated it.
How quick were synagogues to establish outdoor minyanim, desperately clinging to something to keep them connected to their Judaism?
Yet no matter how many zoom shiurim for women or spots behind the mechitza they allow, I look around at the women of my community and see apathy.
Ms. Kravetz see apathy from the women in her community. But I see something entirely different. The women in her community are not immersed in her egalitarian ideals. They understand that God has given women different roles than men. Not worse roles. Just different roles.
That she sees her roles as a mother not as fulfilling as going to Shul is not what most Orthodox women that are not feminists feel. While it is true that most might prefer not to be babysitting the children and instead go Shul on Rosh Hashana, they understand that this is not their primary role. Their first duty is to their God given roles as mothers. And despite the occasional exasperation of raising children I believe that most Orthodox Jewish women feel satisfaction and fulfillment as Jews in performing that task successfully.
This of course does not mean they can’t get additional fulfillment in other ways – such as in education, in careers outside the home, or involvement in Chesed (charitable work). But motherhood comes first in the Jewish home. I believe most Orthodox Jewish women see it that way.
I know this is not a politically correct view. Women are supposed to be seeking full equality with men in every area of life. But I truly believe that most Orthodox women do not classify themselves as feminists to that extreme.
There is a time and a place to declare and even demand equality of the sexes. Which to me is and always has been in the workplace (equal pay for equal work). And in the area of mutual respect between the sexes. But when the focus becomes egalitarian in the area of their role as Jewish women, I think most women are indeed apathetic to that.
Which is why I feel sorry for Ms. Kravetz. Even though - again - I am sure she doesn’t want – nor would she likely even accept my sympathy. I believe the egalitarian version of feminism has led her in the wrong direction.