Psychotherapy as an Aid to Avoiding Sin

I have always felt that people have the right to seek help for any unwanted condition they have whether it is physical or mental. If someone has homosexual tenancies and does not want have them, he has a right to try and rid himself of them via any legal means available including psychotherapy. That is nothing if not logical and fair. It is not much different than wanting to get rid of a smoking habit. Or any addiction.

The problem is addictions are a choice. They are self inflicted. No one is born addicted. The conventional wisdom is that sexual orientation is not a choice. One is either born that way - or became that way long before they were even conscious of it. 

What about the fact that choice or not, if they want to change why shouldn’t they be able to using the best means available for that purpose? Is it even possible to change? 

The answer to that goes back to the 70s. At that time the American Psychological Association took homosexuality out of  the category of mental illness. They declared same sex attraction as normal as opposite sex attraction. And declared homosexuality a lifestyle choice. Since then gay people who were once so shunned that most stayed in the closet have now become fully accepted into society. So much so that gay marriage is now the law of the land. 

So why do I think that a therapy to change something that is both unchangeable and accepted  is a good idea?

That’s because there are people who say they had same sex attractions, did not like having them, underwent therapy and now lead straight, happily married lives. And are no longer attracted to members of the same sex.

How is that possible? I believe that not all people who experience same sex attractions are actually gay. There are some straight people that for a variety of reasons swerved into a pattern of gay behavior. (Reasons that are beyond the scope of this post). Psychotherapy allows them to regain their natural attraction to the opposite sex. While that may be a rare occurrence it does happen. I know of cases like that. 

There are also people that are bi-sexual (attracted to both sexes). If one is religious, why would they not want to have the kind of therapy that would guide them into satisfying their sex drives in Halachicly permissible ways that are natural to them – while being disabused of an attraction that often leads to sinful behavior?

At the end of the day, it is about freedom of choice. Why not leave it up to the individual? If someone wants to change his sexual orientation they should be allowed to try and do so. It may not work. They should go into therapy with their eyes wide open and realize that. But they should certainly have the right to try.

The arguments against this kind of therapy are twofold. One is legitimate and the other political.

The legitimate argument is that in the past such therapy was demeaning. Some of it was so bad that it caused self loathing, clinical depression, and even thoughts of suicide! Descriptions by those who experienced it sounded like torture to me! That kind of therapy is unacceptable - criminal even - and should remain outlawed. But classic psychotherapy by a licensed psychotherapist should clearly be allowed for those who seek it.

The political argument seems to be that if someone is gay and wants to change they ought not to be allowed do it. They are not going to change. Let them be gay since that is as legitimate as being straight. 

I understand why they say that. They are humanists - defining any sexual acts between 2 consenting adults as totally moral. A totally logical way of thinking.

But if you are a religious Christian, Muslim, or Jew, morality goes beyond one’s own logic. There is a God. He has rules. And all 3 major faiths believe that a gay sexual relationship is a mortal sin. Therefore if a gay person is religious and wants professional help to change, they should be entitled to have that option available to them.

Denying them that option by telling them they are just fine as they are - is telling them that God’s laws are irrelevant in today’s enlightened world. Religion in general is seen by many people an archaic remnant of mankind’s superstitious past. Why change because of silly superstitions? They believe that kind of thinking should be jettisoned out of our collective brains.

This is all part of the culture war that is going on now in this country. Opposite views based on God’s morality versus mankind’s morality. Unfortunately it seems like those of us that are religious are losing the cultural war! God is becoming increasingly irrelevant in our day.

Please understand. I am not changing my views on how to treat gay people. They should be respected as fellow human beings and treated with same dignity as anyone else. Especially since the conventional wisdom is an individual's sexual orientation cannot be changed – even with psychotherapy. 

That may be true. But as noted - there are people who have changed their pattern of gay behavior after finding out they never really were gay. No one should be denied the right to find that out for themselves. If for no other reason than if they are religious - they want to live their lives in ways that will not be conducive to sin.  

But not by methods that have used virtual torture. Those methods probably cause more harm than good and should remain banned.