Jewish Outreach Done Right

A still from 'Reflected Light' (Photo: Raaya Vardi Teboule - from Tablet)

99% of what a BT (or a curious, adolescent Beis Yaakov student) gains from or observes in the secular world is quite harmful for a Torah lifestyle. It’s true that a few hobbies, disciplines, or say, classical music appreciation have value and are sometimes things we lack, but think of what most people in the secular world are immersed in – movies, pro sports, rock music, video games, etc. (much much worse in the “etc.”). For the vast majority of people I really can’t see the transition from secular to BT as a modest refurb, but something much more resembling a major tearing down... the change has to be a drastic one of rejecting so much of what they valued and ran after in the past. 

The commenter is spot on regarding what we might call pop culture. That is probably what he meant. We must caution, however, that there are plenty in our community that make the mistake of applying his words to literally “99% of what a BT… gains from or observes in the secular world.” That is a horrible, horrible error. Regrettably, it is an occupational hazard of hanging out in parts of the charedi world that harbor an excess of bitul – of the need to tear down, undervalue, mock, and disparage everything outside their precincts.

Baalei teshuvah have to hide parts of their soul from their children…If they don’t want their children to know what they did when they were secular, they have to hide not only their biography but also parts of their soul…

They say that it takes chozrim b’teshuvah around 15 years to start asking themselves, where did we come to? Why did we throw away our culture, philosophy, literature, music?… Many of them start a process of self examination… They start understanding that they will never be able to be Haredi and that their true identity is that of baalei teshuvah.