A Moral Failing Based on Human Nature

This was a tweet by Shoshanna  Keats Jaskoll about a truly disgusting new enterprise:  a sex doll brothel. I am not going to link to it because the pictures of those dolls are beyond disgusting. 

But as I read her tweet about the objectification of women, I thought about how true that is even today where there is a new determination by women that they will no longer stay silent when they are sexually assaulted. The culture of silence is over. Women who in the past were reluctant to reveal they were assaulted in any way, are no longer keeping quiet. Those that were assaulted long ago are now coming forward to tell their stories. 

Some of those stories are pretty sordid. But even those that aren’t as sordid are nevertheless still assault. I believe that at the core of this behavior is the at least subliminal attitude of objectification. One that has been around since the beginning of time.  A culture recognized by Chazal and rabbinic authorities throughout Jewish history. Which is why the focus has always been on women to minimize their sexuality in public by dressing modestly. I don’t think you can separate the phenomenon male sexual assault of women from the reality objectification.

It is the nature of men to see women in sexual terms. That’s what make the world go round. Chazal recognized that too. Which is why they never prayed that the sex drive be eliminated by the human psyche. Because without it, mankind would become extinct. What they did instead was legislate protections designed to protect us all from immoral behavior.

The fact is that the burden of being moral is an individual responsibility for both men and women. That men see women in sexual terms means that they must control their thoughts. It is a man’s responsibility to do that. But women can help  by doing their best to minimize licentious thoughts in the men they might encounter.  How each segment of Orthodoxy does that a is what has created controversy.

First let me state the obvious. Women are NOT - objectively speaking - sex objects. They are human beings just like men. There is no difference between us. Each serves God in our own way that are equal in the eyes of God. And each of us contributes to the world in our own way.  A man is of no greater value to God than is a woman. Which means that we need to treat each other with the same level of respect and dignity.

In the modern world most men are acculturated to see women in ways other than in sexual terms. We interact with each other at work and at play. So much so that most men in our culture do not overtly see a beautiful and react with an immediate licentious thought. But as Freud so clearly understood, the sex drive is still there and in men. And is subject to visual stimulation. We have just been socialized to completely subdue those thoughts to the point of not even being conscious of them. Why are men not given the same degree of restrictions with respect to modesty in dress so that women will be prevented form their own licentious thoughts? It’s because women are not as sensitive to the visual. They are more sensitive to the touch.

It is in the climate of modern civilization and its social constructs that men are accustomed to  not react to to women dressed in what society deems modest. In other words, it’s all what we are used to. That en should not react to even the most immodestly dressed women with same same sense of self control s true. It just take more effort.

This is why the modesty restrictions of the most right wing Orthodox Jews among us are so extreme. They are simply not used to seeing women at all.  Living secluded lifestyles does not expose them women the way the rest of society is. The women in their culture they might encounter in the streets are almost de-feminized in their appearance. They are covered up head to toe in layers of loose fitting clothing. With every strand of their hair covered by some sort of unflattering headscarf.

This is why some of their youth react so badly to a woman that to the rest of us might see as modestly dressed. This is not to excuse them. Which I clearly don’t and have condemned them for. Many times! It is only to explain them.

All of this boils down to the male sexual response. Which in my view does in fact objectify women. Whether at the subliminal level of the modern world or at the overt level at the extreme right wing of Orthodoxy. We can deny it all we want. But in my view there is a part of all men that sees a beautiful woman as a sex object. The difference is only in what we do about it in each culture. By no means  should that determine our behavior when interacting with each other.

Evidence for male objectification of women lies in one of the strongest influences in modern culture, the entertainment industry.  In the vast majority of movies that feature women - at some point in the movie she will become the object of her male counterpart’s sexual desire. Upon which he will act. 

Whether a woman reacts with consent or not is not the point of this discussion it is only that when a man pursues a woman in a casual relationship, it is because wants t satisfy his lust. President Carter said it best in his famous Playboy interview.  (Ironically Playboy is the granddaddy of magazines that objectify women.) As a religious born again Christian Carter nonetheless admitted that he sometimes lusts in his heart. In other words his thoughts upon seeing a beautiful woman were not all that subliminal. But he did not act on them and treated them with the respect and dignity that we have all been socialized to do in our culture.

So this new sex doll brothel is just the latest and somewhat extreme manifestation of objectifying women.  

Again, this not to excuse male objectification of women. It is degrading to women and wrong to behave that way. And we should try to avoid thinking that way. But it does help to explain why there have been so many inexcusable liberties taken by men of women they have encountered in their lives.  

It is wrong and should never be tolerated. And thank God it appears that there are some important societal changes taking place that will help prevent it in the future (although I am equally convinced that it will never be completely be eradicated).  Women that are sexually attacked or in any way taken advantage of sexually is a moral failing of those men that do it. But it should be clear that at the heart if their lack of self control is the male sex drive that is awakened when they see a desirable woman and see them as an object to be used for their own pleasure. That some act on it is a serious moral failing that deserves the condemnation of all of us.