Who am I to judge what it means to be religious, or to "grow up religious." As a child in a traditional community w/ a conservative affiliated synagogue I was taught to respect the Orthodox and reform. We were taught Orthodoxy was indeed proper but the novelty of "conservative Judaism" was that you don't necessarily need to do everything in-order to be a "good Jew." This is a view I hold to this day, but we will come back to this.
As I got older and experience the way people observed Judaism outside of my community I became more and more confused. I was introduced to topics such as rationalization of the stories in the Bible, 4-author theory and questioning what is G-d in the first place.
Also baffling to me was the hatred between different "factions" of Judaism and that not everyone believed in G-d or the Torah as uniting factors in Judaism. The Torah's immutability was questioned and I too was forced to consider what I know and believe.
Towards the end of my 4 years in college I had a series of experience that, for me, concretized not just a belief, but rather a knowledge of G-d's existence. For reasons beyond the scope of this essay I cannot give over this knowledge and even a detailed account of the events that led me to this understanding would basically be worthless to most people.
That being said, armed with my new-found reassurance and knowledge of G-d's existence I began on a journey to become "more religious" as most would call it. But let us stop for a minute , am I necessarily "more religious" now? And was my family necessarily "non-religious" in the 1st place because they didn't conform to all the normative "orthodox standards?" and really, can all "frum" Jews really claim they are doing everything 100%?
Sure there were areas my family was lacking but doesn't everyone have areas they are weaker in. Who is to decide what is more and less important, have we not a Mishnah not to weigh light and heavy mitzvot as we don't know which is which? But really, my parents (were very meticulous in many important Mitzvahs.) Many members of my [extended] family lit candles every Friday night... So once again I question, can you say we weren't religious?
Hardly! Weaker in some areas of observance, stronger in others. The same is true of the so-called outwardly "orthodox." The difference is we're quick to judge people based on what we see and not on כל האדםlike the Mishnah advises us.
So I implore you dear reader, who stuck with me till the end, to ask yourself what does it mean to be religious and is it really necessary to judge others. I will concede to be human unfortunately is to judge, but as we learn, when we judge others this leads to kill others, hatred and division. Rather we should look inside ourselves and look for way to connect rather than reject.
The author raises several issues here. The first being whether being observant of some Halacha but not all of it makes someone a ‘good Jew’(to use his term). He notes that he was brought up in a Conservative Jewish family that was traditional. Meaning that they observed many Halachos but not all of them. He then questions whether Orthodox Jews are really 100% observant. The ‘novelty’ of Conservative Judaism is that ‘you don't necessarily need to do everything in-order to be a "good Jew".
I agree that being a ‘Good Jew’ does not mean that - if you are not in 100% compliance with Halacha you are not a good Jew. None of us are perfect. What it does mean is that one must recognize that this is the goal and that we are supposed to try and reach it.
We all sin. Sometimes even intentionally. But we must realize that we sin - and resolve to do better and no longer sin. That is what Teshuva is for. Teshuva is built into our faith. As human beings we sometime fall short. God has provided the means to be forgiven when we do fall short - and become absolved of sin.
What is not the case is saying that it’s OK to just observe some Halachos and not others. Conservative Judaism fails in that respect by saying that one can be a ‘good Jew’ even if they are not fully observant. There is a difference between personal failings and ‘institutional permission’ to fail.
Respecting fellow Jews regardless of their level of observance is an obligation incumbent upon all of us. We have no right to judge others. But we have an obligation to reject a philosophy that at least implies that it’s OK for (if not actually permitting) Jews to choose what they will observe and what they will not.
The author talks about his circuitous journey towards his belief in God and the resultant journey to become more religious. Which is a laudable result. But then he rhetorically asks what that actually means relative to Orthodox Jews. Some of whom are only outwardly Orthodox. Does non conformity to Orthodox standards make his family (that did not conform to those standards) non-religious? What – he asks in conclusion – ultimately defines ‘being religious’?
Frankly I am not enamored of the word ‘religious’. The Yiddish word for that is ‘Frum’. As many recent Orthodox Jewish thinkers have said (including my own Rebbe, Rav Ahron Soloveichik): ‘Frum is a Galach.’ ‘A Yid is Ehrlich,’ Priests are religious. Jews are sincere and ethical (Ehrlich does not really have a one word translation into English).
Being religious is not only a feature of Orthodox Jews. A Reform Jew might define himself as religious too albeit in his own way. The goal of Judaism is not about how religious we are. It is how serious we are in trying to be observant of ALL of God’s Laws. Those between man and God; and those between man and his fellow man.
It is not about how we look or how much money we spend on an Esrog. It is about making sure that sure our behavior towards our fellow man (especially fellow Jew) is as important to us as the Esrog we buy. It is about respecting the views of other Jews (as long as those views are not heretical). Which leads me to one final point.
The author said he was baffled by ‘the hatred between different "factions" of Judaism…’
Unfortunately I am not baffled. Nor am I happy about it. It’s called Sinas Chinam – baseless hatred. Which is what destroyed the Second Temple.
We ought to not hate our fellow Jews. No matter whether they are fully observant or not observant at all. What we may (perhaps even must) hate is ideologies that lead people astray.
On the other hand there are many Jewish ideologies that are different and yet acceptable that do not lead people astray. It is called Elu V’Elu. We must respect Torah based ideologies no matter how much we might disagree with them. Whether they are Hashkafos of Satmar or Religious Zionists; Charedim or Modern Orhtodox. And certainly anything in-between.
These are my quick responses to a well thought out essay by a sincere Jew.