Belittling Survivors of Sex Abuse

Rabbi ZechariaWallerstein

It takes a certain level of naiveté and hubris to think you are serving God by angrily belittling people. Especially if they are survivors of sexual abuse. It is well known that these survivors have emotional issues that in many cases will affect them for the rest of their lives. It is also a well established fact that many are prone to severe clinical depression that often leads them to drug and alcohol abuse - and even attempts at suicide. Sadly in all too many cases, they succeed.

The analogy of the holocaust is a chutzpa for obvious reasons. Among other reasons, the Jews were being persecuted by anti-Semites intent on annihilating them for no other reason than being Jewish – simple hatred. The atrocities of the holocaust are acknowledged by all.

I, and other survivors of abuse, on the other hand, are victimized by people who are meant to love us and then, our perpetrators are protected, again, by people who we are taught to trust.

We, as a community, have a problem. Until we acknowledge that we are victims of abuse, we can’t be survivors. You are stopping us from being survivors. 

a. As a granddaughter of a survivor of Auschwitz, I’ve witnessed my Bubby cry and grapple with the trauma of being a victim. It is a daily struggle for her; however, throughout, she remains a survivor, upholding the Torah, without diminishing idea that she was, and remains, a victim of the Nazi’s atrocities.

b. Being a survivor does not mean that you can’t discuss the perpetrators, point your finger at them, and hold them accountable. Look at Elie Weisel. 

c. We can, and will continue, to point fingers at those who have committed the crimes and atrocities, while saying “never again.”